Earlier this week, as the news of Sunil Bharti Mittal, Airtel honcho, signing a Rs. 50,000 crore cheque to buy Zain Networks filed in, a hapless and harried subscriber like me logged out of their network.

The rheoteric of 50,000 to 50,000 crore that the Chairman of the company made, did not inspire me. When even the CEO went on record to claim that Airtel would be the first Indian global consumer brand, it did not make my chest swell with pride. Usually it would have.

But not after the treatment met by the inefficient systems and people at Airtel.

Some 7 months back I was charged a whopping Rs. 8,000 on international roaming. When I complained I was told that my GPRS was active and irrespective of usage one gets billed for keeping it on. It was hard to digest but still I payed up. Although for half of my visit, I had even disconnected automatic synchronising. In fact before leaving I had called their helpline and checked if taking an active GPRS burnt hole in ones pocket or not. The half baked person on the other end, ensured me that I would have to pay only Rs. 200 which I anyway was for subscribing to Airtel's Office Mobile service.

After this bitter experience, during all my subsequent visits, before leaving I would get my GPRS deactivated. It worked well for 3-4 months. A couple of months back despite getting my GPRS disconnected before leaving, I got a bill of Rs. 3,000 for usage on return. When I contested, I was told I had sent mass MMS. Flabbergasted, I told them, no human can send MMS every four minutes for 24 hours all through the week. I was coldly told that one could even do that every one minute. When I asked how, obviously the churlish chap on the other side had no answer, but for asking me to pay-up.

A series of email and phone communications later, which took around 3 months, invariably only reply I recieved was to pay up. My two queries- how I could be billed for GPRS when I had got it deactivated; and if one had for assumption sakes sent these MMS, what were the numbers these went to, were never answered.

In fact the lady who spoke the last, someone from their big-sham Appelate Unit was rude to the extent that she said I would not be provided any such information.

Thoroughly exhausted I asked her to cancel my connection. As I kept my phone down that very moment stories of Sunil Bharti Mittal signing the big fat cheque started flashing every where. Now I know how they make all this money!