Some people annoy me to such a degree I find myself fantasizing about cracking their skulls open like giant boiled eggs and scoffing their brains with a few toasted soldiers on the side

A chap I sit near in the office is a quite a womaniser. Reckons he's the monkey's bananas, he really does. He's tried it on with 99% of the girls in the office, often with great success

The issue is that he has just met a girl that he actually likes. Properly, really, seriously likes.

Has he stopped banging on about it?

Nope.

Have I had a second's peace from his incessant gloating?

Not a one

Seven times in this very morning he has impressed upon me his 'changed man' status. Three times last week I had to hear about the surprise holiday he is taking her on next month. And yesterday he even mentioned a Christmas Eve marriage proposal

May all of us get saved from such s u c k e r s