My earlier stint with the BPO industry has made me wary of Romances.

Those days when I joined as a novice in the industry , for it was the only one which appeared so lucrative. My heart was young and I always wore it on my sleeve. And so did many others like me. Falling in and out of love as easy as Raj (Bachna Aye Haseeno), and flings came in as effortless as breathing. Something to do with those young hearts just stepping out of campus and taking the first fresh breath in an independent air. The air which held promises of filled pockets and dreams which they had yearned for long. The package deal which held a rapid growth and a promise of being in vicinity with the faces which always dissolve your leg. The visage which looked so out of reach was like a few feet away.

So on became my small fleet of conquests. They came and went as rapidly as weekdays. Evey weekend I was accompanied by a new face to latest pubs and discs. Till I saw her! Ohh so magnificent her ! She stepped out of my fantasy land and stood right there. Gosh ! I surely took a drink or two more. But impervious to my rocking world, she stood there with a quaint smile. Wish it was just another infatuation, but it grew like a deep rooted seed and flowered me with the first blossoms of love.

For I did get noticed by her, after a hell lot of efforts and greasing palms in form of Chai and Samosa treats to common acquaintances. We met and that was the day of life. I had all my plans well set in place. We will sit by the Marine Drive and will stare longingly into each other’s eyes and then the same old repeated compliment, “your eyes define your soul”. So many times repetitively have I heard it from the lips of my conquests. But she will be special, I knew that by heart.

There she came walking down the aisle of her office, with a cigarette dangling from her fingers. So dude, she maintained, which pub, coz I hope you are not those types who directly hop into the bed. Oops! I had never even dreamt that our conversation will start like this. I muttered with all the courage, let’s goto Marine Drive.

Her eyes popped out of her head, Marine Drive is for morons, are you one of those looney guys who believe in love and the stupid notches arising from it. Ohh , I guess she needs space and without taking a chance I took her to the first name which she suggested. We had a good time and played around a bit too(literally). With a promise of knowing her more on next weekend, I sailed through the week in haze.

Crash! Bang! Boom! That was six months earlier and every now and then I see her accompanying a new face to the latest pubs and discs. That statement which I overheard the phone when I called up her office to fix a date coz she never picked up her cell, “Who did you say it was? Ohh that moron, tell him I am not interested, Gawd , in which age these guys live in?”

As I sit in a coffee lounge today, giving up my fast paying BPO job, for it just reminded me of her every now and then. The same song plays in the background, the one which I dreamt I will play for her one day.

Wish I had not fallen hostage to the manacles of love. Wish I had not given a piece of myself away to her.Wish she had not wandered in my life just like that. Wish she had not done something dumb one day, like kiss me or smile at me coz since then my life is not remained mine.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.