This is for entertainmentpurposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on thefirst day of class or for that matter, on any day of class.

1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes by waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"

   
   




2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.

   
   




3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.

   
   




4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.

   
   




5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"

   
   




6. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".

   
   




7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.

   
   




8. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.

   
   




9. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.

   
   




10. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. Inthe middle of lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask whether hewas ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.

    
    




11. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.

    
    




12. Become entranced with your first physics lecture, and declare your intention to pursue a career in measurements and units.

    
    




13. Sing your questions.

    
    




14. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.

    
    




15. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."