George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when

his telephone rang.

'Hello, Mr. Bush!' a heavily accented voice said, 'This is Gurmukh from

Phagwara, District Kapurthala, Punjab .. I am ringing to inform you that

we are fed up with your ways and are officially declaring the war on you!'

'Well, Gurmukh,' Bush replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big

is your army'

'Right now,' said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, 'there is

myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbor Bhagat, and the entire

kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight.'

Bush paused. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have one million men in

my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Arrey O! Main kya.' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to ring you back!'

Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.

'Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm calling from Phagwara STD, the war is

still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'

'And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh' Bush asked.

'Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor.'

Bush sighed. 'I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and

14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2

million since we last spoke.'

'Oye teri....' said Gurmukh. 'I'll have to get back to you.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.

'Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves

airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple of

shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's generator. Four school

pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!'

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell

you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My

military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile

sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'

'Tera pala hove....' said Gurmuk, 'I'll have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.

'Kiddan, Mr.Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off

the war.'

'I'm sorry to hear that,' said Bush. 'Why the sudden change of heart'

'Well,' said Gurmukh, 'we've all had a long chat over a couple of

lassi's, and decided ---" there's no way we can feed two million

prisoners of war" !'

NOW THAT'S CALLED AN INDIAN ATTITUDE