I visited my friend this weekend and found her 9 year son sulking in a corner. What’s up I asked him. “Its mom,” he says animatedly “She thinks she knows what I want without me even telling her!” I clucked sympathetically and asked him what the problem was. “I came back from playtime just now and my cycle was damaged because I fell down with it. Mom took one look and she screamed – NO I’M NOT GETTING YOU A NEW CYCLE!”

I suppressed a smile and asked – “so what are you angry about – the fact that she is not getting you the cycle or the fact that she knew you are were going to ask for a new cycle before you could even utter a word!” The boy looked at me surprised – “Both” he said cryptically and ran away. Perhaps he was thinking I was worse than his mom.

But hey it’s true we moms do know what the child wants even before they do. And I have a theory for why this is true. It’s a skill that is thrust upon you. Let me explain. When my little bundle was born and they brought her to me – she was howling with anger. I don’t blame her really – I would be angry too if someone wrenched me out of my cozy cocoon and put me into a noisy nursery where there were so many little bundles feeling exactly the same way and howling. So much of noise, lights, action – after the silence of a mother’s womb. So the nurses looked at me accusingly and said “Deepa, see why is your baby crying!” I was taken aback. Well, how was I supposed to know this? This was the first time I was seeing her. They were the experts in child care – shouldn’t they know more than me? I had panic attack. I was not capable of handling this! I was going to be a terrible mother! I sat there perplexed with the wailing bundle until one kindly, elderly nurse came and told me – “hold her close to you. She needs your warmth, your smell and the comfort of your presence.” So that is what I did. And at that moment something passed from her to me. It was a magical moment. The child stopped wailing. I watched as her rose bud lips settled into peaceful lines. Her tiny slits for eyes closed drowsily and her little fingers formed a ball as she drifted off to slumber. I forgot my pain as I stared at this little, living, breathing thing that had come out of my womb. My eyes welled with tears. She was so tiny and so helpless. Oh my god how was I ever going to take care of her?

The day we were going home from the hospital I cried uncontrollably. I felt like how a child would feel when being wrenched from her mother’s womb. All these days I had been inside the safe cocoon of a hospital. Anytime I was perplexed all I had to do was call the nurses and they would tell me what to do. But now I was going home. Who would help me?

But surprise surprise! I did not need help. Sure enough every time the child cried I knew why she was crying. You see little babies cry for everything – when they are hungry, when they want to pee, when they have a tummy ache, when they are bored, when they want to be carried, when they want attention, when they want someone to talk to them. I mean they cry for EVERYTHING. The first two days at home I was confused and I panicked every time she cried. Try to feed her, check her nappy, maybe she has a tummy ache…guess guess guess. But then suddenly I knew why she was crying. And somehow I was doing the right things. I knew when she was crying out of hunger. When she needed a nappy change. When she wanted me to croon to her. When she desired to be carried. I just knew it!

Even today – my daughter is five – I just know what she wants even before she can utter it. For instance I know the day she wants to eat a cheesy pasta – and I make it even before she can ask. Or I know when she’s had a bad day in school just by seeing her smile. I know her little quirks – why she will take a certain path in the park – and not walk the normal route that everyone takes. In a toy shop I know exactly which doll she will pick. In a dress store I know precisely which frock she will like.

I think it’s the magic of that moment when I first held her. Yes they cut off the umbilical cord – but that bond will last forever. So every mother in this world - I believe - will instinctively know what her child desires – however old they are.

It’s one of the privileges we mothers have. Don’t ask me how we know it. We just do.