A
> desperate woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
>
>
> Dear Tech Support ,
>
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed
> a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance,
> particularly in the flower and jewellery applications,
> which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
>
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0
> uninstalled many other valuable programs, such
> as
> Romance 9.5 and
> Personal Attention 6.5,
> and then installed undesirable programs such as
>
> NEWS 5.0,
>
> MONEY 3.0
> and
> CRICKET 4.1
> .
>
>
> Conversation 8.0
> no longer
> runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the
> system.
>
>
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
> problems, but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
>
> A Desperate Woman
>
>
>
> DEAR DESPERATE Madam,
>
>
> First, keep in mind,
> Boyfriend 5.0
> is an Entertainment
> Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
>
>
> Please enter command:
> ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download
> Tears 6.2
> and do not forget to
> install the Guilt 3.0
> update.
>
> If that application works as
> designed, Husband1.0
> should then
> automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
>
> However, remember, overuse
> of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence
2.5
> , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
>
> Please note that
> Beer 6. 1
> is a very bad program
> that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
>
>
> Whatever you do,
> DO NOT
> under any
> circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the
background that
> will eventually seize control of all your system
> resources.)
>
>
> In addition, please do not
> attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported
> applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
>
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have
> limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
>
>
> You might consider buying
> additional software to improve memory and performance.
>
> We recommend:
>
> Cooking 3.0
> and
> Hot Looks 7.7.
>
>
>
> Good Luck Madam!
>
>
> Tech Support
>