Some time back in 2005, there was this absolutely rubbish program on TV called Match Ka Mujrim, hosted by Bishen Singh Bedi, used to watch it during the India-Pakistan matches. The show was meant to do an analysis of the day's match, and then focus on the player whose poor performance cost the match. The show however turned out to be less analysis, and seemed to be an excuse to indulge in player bashing. So which ever player did not do well and was held responsible for the loss, became the Mujrim, meant to be scorned and torn apart.
Now as far as I know, Mujrim means Criminal, and that makes me want to ask the question, HOW DOES LOSING A MATCH MAKE ONE A CRIMINAL? A criminal is some one who breaks the laws, and whose actions hurt individuals or a society. What happens if a player does not do well, and we lose a match. Yeah we feel disappointed, but that's it. As Lance Klusener remarked after S.Africa's heartbreaking loss to Australia in the 1999 World cup Semi final, "So what no one died".
The issue is however just beyond cricket and a crappy TV program, it is a manifestation of a far more serious affliction I see spreading all around. The "Winning is Everything" attitude.
Every one of us desires to win, no one really wants to be a loser. And there is nothing wrong with wanting to win, or be a winner. Unless you are some one who has renounced the world, you would want to win or be succesful in whatever you do. The issue however is not with winning or losing, it is something far more serious, the tendency to handle failure.
Now unless you are a super hero, it is very very unlikely that you will win all the time, many a time you might end up losing or being on the losing side. The key to winning, is how you handle the loss. Now when you lose, there can be two ways to go about it, either you can sulk, go into a shell, curse the world and never make an attempt. Or you can blame everything except yourself for failure. Both these approaches lead to only one result- D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.
Losing is not bad, but it is the failure to handle losing, that is a crime for me. We are so obsessed with losing, that we seem to have forgotten the fact, that YOU JUST CAN'T WIN ALL THE TIME IN LIFE. Parents expect their kids to be class toppers all the time, which is just impossible, and failure to meet those expectations lead to the children, either growing distant or even worse ending their life. Sportsplayers who lose are abused, torn apart in the media, as if they had commited a national crime. Couple of flops, and the media starts writing the obituary of an actor.
WHY HAVE WE BECOME SO SHORT SIGHTED, CALLOUS AND INSENSITIVE? WHY CAN'T WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU CAN LOSE AND IT IS NOT A SIN? WHY HAVE WE BECOME SO OBSESSED WITH WINNING?
To me the real losers are not those who lose, the people who can't accept that you can lose, and can't handle losing, are the actual losers. Losing is not the end of the world, and heavens don't fall if you lose.
Life is not just about winning and losing, its a journey that ends only when we depart the world. Life is about taking the blows on your chest, stumbling, getting up and moving ahead. You made a mistake, messed up something, fine, it is not the end of the world, accept it, and move ahead.
The problem is we treat losers like social outcasts. And the issue is that we have come to define success in rather shallow terms. So if you bagged a job, in an IT firm, you are a success, never mind if you screw up badly there. If you topped the class, you are a winner, never mind that later on you have practically achieved nothing else. If you get the H1B visa, you have made it, never mind, that for months on there, you would be practically doing nothing.
Life is not about winners or loser, its about human beings, people, relationships. Instead of writing books or teaching about "How to be a winner", it would be a great service to mankind and society, if we could teach people "How to handle failure", if you know that winning is the next step ahead.