Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours.
Rahul: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Rahul: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
Teacher: Why are you late?
Raj: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Raj: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Son: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
A little boy wanted $100 very badly; his mother told him to pray to GOD for it. He prayed for two weeks not nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the post office received the letter addressed to GOD, they opened it and decided to send it to the President. The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy $5. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you letter, which read as follows:
"Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington, as usual, those thieving bastards deducted $95 for taxes.