Curriculum Vitae
Name : Abhishek Bachchan
Date of Birth : The dodgy doctor was so excited to c my dad that he forgot to put the date on the certificate .. damn I just celebrate my b’day on the 1st January
Qualifications : wud b guessing .. Bach. of physics / MBA / Phd in Drama (courtesy some dodgy uni. of US ... which sells degrees)
Work Experience :
17 Flops / 4 Hits / 3 Average (something like that)
’’17’’ flops .. Is this how bad of an actor I am !!! this is what I used to sleep with everynight .. The films weren;t half as bad as they were made to by the public .. Picking the right directors and co-stars wasnt enough I think .. I should have read the script too (something I forgot totally about) .. BUt anyway .. I used to wonder that this start is just like my dad’s .. and If I have a future like his to look forward to then bring on the FLOPS ! I am loving it ! Some of my good movies which didnt work are Refugee (my debut), Kuch Na Kaho, Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya, LoC etc ... so if u have watched all these films .. you will agree that they were not bad choices but somehow lady luck would give me a blind eye on the day of release
4 Hits - I find 4 greater than 17 .. when it come to me counting .. After 17 flops Industry would have lost faith in me .. but I guess the Bachchan Parivaar has to maintain the ’’bouncing back’’ ritual ... so I came back with ’’Yuva’’ .. great role/great director/great co-stars and Thank God for a change a great script .. a god send role for me made me a superstar overnight .. Ppl started referring to me as ’’Lallan’’ .. Cool name and does suit my personality .. Obviously Dhoom followed and I registered the superstar status at the nearest bollywood registeration office.
Then came a special appearance role in HUm Tum another superhit .. Tho it was not a full role .. I still regard this as my hit .. u know hits are any way hard to come by ..
My hits include : Yuva, Hum Tum, Bunty aur Babli and DHOOM
3 Averages : This is my balancing factor. When im not delivering duds and hits are hard to come by .. I somehoe manage to swim up the shore with an average movie
My Average flicks till date : Dus, Sarkar, Phir Milenge
My Special Interests : Driving my Porsche , Dating my actresses, Smiling and avoiding a shave ;)
Referees
Mr. Amitabh Bachchan
Address : just ask any pav-bhaaji waala in Juhu
Mrs Karishma Kapoor
Address : If divorced : Call any director in town
If still married : Call Mr. Sanjay (somewhr in Delhi )