Alien vs Predator
Why were there even humans in the movie ? They arent needed. Otherwise the movie was pretty good. The movie starts with a few retarded people trying to find a lost city apparently built by all the great civilizations of the old.... (viz) the minoans, the cretins and the imbecilites. They find an orifice (MS wudnt allow the more commonly used word)...dug by a lazer beam from outer space and they drop themselves into a huge underground edifice. Their fight with the aliens and how they befriend the predator and escape from there form the rest of the movie. Here is a quick key to all the characters.
The Aliens
Intelligent life-form created by the Predators to be the prey. Their sole purpose in life is to be killed by the predators. Fiendishly the predators have equipped the aliens with some formidable skills... to make their job more challenging. The aliens have poisonous blood, really sharp teeth and very very bad breath. These guys resemble nick nolte without the hair. It seems that they do not have a tongue and they never swallow their saliva. They also keep laying eggs all over the place and scream hideously whenever they see the camera.
The Predators
Ultra intelligent extra terrestrial creatures who were supposedly gods to the cretin and imbecile civilizations and hence the remarkable similarity in the architectures...an idea comfortably stolen from Eric von Daanicken. The entire underground structure is supposed to resemble the Pyramids, the temples of the Incas, the lost city of UR, the kabaah, The mecca, the leaning tower of Pisa and the Valluvar Kottam. All this is informed in about 20 seconds with the help of some nifty graphics. The person who explains all this immedietely gets on your nerves and you automatically want him to be victim number one. Is he ? That happens to be the biggest suspence in the movie.
The Humans
Unfortunate by-standers. Whoever wins, we always lose. We also lose quite a lot... Our sanity and our dinner whenever we see the aliens... The predators do not think humans are worth their time and effort. I assumed after the predators great fight with our Danny Glovers and Arnold Schwarzeneggers they would really want human blood. Not to be !!! They are more worried about aliens and thier tartar than the humans. I personally think the movie must have been shot with no humans. Imagine it would have been one of a kind then.
The positive points in this movie are that the CGI effects are minimal to none. The movie is funny too with us being exposed to predator psychology for the first time. Predators do not feel humans are worthy prey. So it befriends one human... like how Robinson Crusoe would befriend a puppy to fight against the savages. The chemistry between the human and the predator warrants a smile with the predator ignoring the human and the human having to prove herself worthy of partnership with the predator.
The biggest drawback in the movie I would say is that till the climax, we are never shown the complete features of the alien. The features of the alien during the movie are limited to the face... The fight sequences between the predator and the alien... are very jerky and gets over too quickly. Some would say that is how the predator kills the prey too quickly and without passion. That is exactly how it happens. It is almost as though the predator is afraid of the alien and wants to kill it without playing too much with it. There is only one sequence where the alien and the predator play with each other and it is fun to watch with green blood flying everywhere.
This movie does not warrant a tailpiece. Thank you. And oh the message ?
Brush your teeth and bathe. Eat well sleep well Study well.