In India, Arranged Marriage has ruled in spite of today’s youth enthusiastically celebrating the Valentine’s Day. May be the process has been a bit modified so as to suit the mindsets of today’s generation, but the central idea of parents deciding the future of their children is still thick and stern.
In general terms, Fate has always treated men (and women) with experiences which make them settle their aspirations on a moderate level. Many young men (and women) have tried to live their lives better than their previous generations and most of them have succeeded in their lifestyle, profession, earning and attitude; but they have miserably failed in the modern way of marriage (Only a few have lived happy marriages after choosing their spouse on their own terms or going against parents).
Some may feel it boring, others may feel it stupidity; but the topic of arranged marriage has always kept me interested. And that interest is what has made me go for this book as soon as I found it in the book store.
ARRANGED MARRIAGE by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni:
I strolled through the pages of the book, which included 11 short stories based on arranged marriages. The stories are mostly based on the woman side of marriage. The women are Indian-born US-settled, who try to strike a balance between their hereditary cultural values and modern liberal thoughts. The language was simple and the mood of the book was identifiable.
Bats: She is a kid. She doesn’t understand why her mother weeps and hugs her. She is not sure why her mother has bruises on her face, as if someone has beaten her. She is excited about their visit to her grand-father’s place. But, why can’t she stay at grand-father’s place forever?
Clothes: She likes wearing colorful clothes. But she likes her hubby more. Unfortunately, he dies. But, her likeness for colorful clothes doesn’t. Does she accept the white sari to worn by a widow?
Silver Pavements, Golden Roofs: She is excited to reach US and stay with her aunt during her study. But life is far from her expectation. She finds her aunt in a weaker situation than her other aunts in India. She realizes how difficult it is to stay in a cool place like the US and how simple it is to stay in her motherland. (This story warns most girls and their parents who are excited about NRI grooms.)
Word Love: Every time she calls her mother in India and hears her mother’s plans to arrange a marriage for her, she feels guilty of hiding the fact that she is staying with her boyfriend. On an unfortunate day, when the fact is revealed to her mother, how does she feel, and what does it lead to, further in her life?
The Perfect Life: She is unmarried. Her boyfriend gives her lots of space. She didn’t think of having children. She had a perfect life; until the dirty little kid entered her life. She, who never felt it important to be a mother, could not stop loving the kid more than herself.
The Maid Servant’s story: She is about to get married. Her aunt tells her a warning story in which a married woman could not save her maid servant from becoming a prostitute. Things are not so easy, when we try to do something good. Many intricacies are involved in almost everything that appears to be easy. Marital limitations are some of those.
The Disappearance: One day, she disappears. He searches almost everywhere, but in vain. He recalls his marriage with her. He loved her; but was not sure if she did. They had small differences, which is usual in all marriages. And when she disappears suddenly, he didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t know how to tell her parents in India.
The Doors: She is used to it: to keep the doors closed. He is used to it: to keep the doors open. And for his beloved wife, he doesn’t mind living with her with closed doors. But when his friend from India stays with them during his study, a tussle begins between the couple. The friend is used to keep the doors open.
The Ultrasound: It tells whether the baby in the womb is a boy or a girl. And the story tells about the acceptance of the baby being a girl in India in contrast to that in America.
The Affair: This story deals with the dissatisfaction in marriage that leads to an extra-marital relationship. It unfurls the different perspectives of the people involved.
Meeting Mrinal: Is it her mistake that she is not born beautiful? Is it her mistake that her husband has left her for another woman? Is it her mistake that her son is angry on how things went in their life? But had she been happier if she never married? She meets her childhood friend Mrinalini who never married.
Frankly speaking, arranged marriage is not so bad. In fact, it is beautiful. It is as beautiful as the cute little kid holding his mother’s hand while walking. The reason for the young people not accepting the beauty is their knowledge that they are no longer little kids. This knowledge is what parents find hard to accept. They always want their children to follow their decisions. A good understanding between the two generations can make marriage a beautiful experience for future generations.