Twas a midsummer’s night and the heat wave must have made Shakespeare check for an alternate sleeping arrangement in his coffin. The heat got me to remove my T-shirt inspite of the fan running at full speed.
A few minutes into my deep sleep, I found it itchy. Scratching the locations which my T-shirt exposed me to, I found the itching resume in a few minutes. And then I thought I was being bitten. The human body has an amazing reaction process. What happened after that would probably put Superman to shame on the speed front. I switch on the light and check the bite in the mirror. Blood! On closer inspection, I found the carcass of this bug like creature. I check closer and see that there are a few on the inner sides of the bed. Some sort of parasite or Bed Bugs! A whole lot of them. That was my first encounter with them.
Well, every living thing serves as a host for some parasitic form. We do too for a lot of bacteria and viruses. So, I didn’t think much till I thought of my two year old beautiful daughter.
That really got my blood running. Apne Khoon, pasine aur mehnat ko Yeh Sazaa? My blood curdled. And then the food my daughter eats flashed across my eyes. Gerber, Horlicks, Kidspro, Pediasure… The ‘Ka-chang’ sound of my health tiller seemed to indicate a loss. I was so much into horlicks/Bournvita and health drinks for my daughter and these bugs were probably the healthier for it! Something needed to be done. The health drinks were for my daughter, not for these bloody buggers.
What if?The bugs turned out to be the tall superheros as shown in the Boost/Bournvita/ Horlicks ads? The thought was frightening. Mankind would hold me responsible for our extinction and exterminate me?
Khoon ka badla Khoon*. *Kuch to karna padega.
I remember the chant of a MS member Har Har Har, except I added the Mahadev to it. And so war was declared on a midsummer’s night in May as I checked the sides of the bed. I squeezed a few to death without much ado. The blood left was a warning to the remaining bugs. An hour later I go back to sleep, as they appear to have fled.
Another morning and it was time to continue the war. I put on my best war hat, my bulletproof vest and the rubbery soles. But still, hand to hand combat was difficult as I could not see my enemy in most cases. Hitler’s experiments with chemical warfare in comparison seemed more successful. I mulled my options. Genocide is one thing, but is bugocide different? A crash course on Debugging using chemical warfare on settlements by my mom. And then the Pujas with the tilaks and traditional arathis, I(duh warrior) was off.
To the shop actually. I checked out different offerings. And saw a few counters stacked with Mortein, Hit and Baygon. And seeing the vast amounts displayed by Baygon, it looked like they were experts in chemical warfare. They had a cockroach killer, a water based cockroach killer, a mosquito killer, and an all insect killer. Have a closer look at the chemical composition and it only differs slightly. Avast! I purchased Baygon - all insect killer.
Onto mission Bug-O-cide. The beddings were thrown on the terrace. The cots were sprayed for three days and the room locked to prevent misuse by the kids. The gas chamber must have been some awful place since at the end of each day; I even found a few unidentifiable creatures. One by one I recaptured the different locations of my home. This went on till the ‘gas chambers’ had snuffed out quite a lot of lives and the rooms looked like a battlefield in any case. Our headquarters(read bedroom) was shifted to an alternate location for two weeks!
Finally, it turned out that my house was a safe haven. Unfortunately, we could not track the source of the bugs.
Till, one fine day. The Dhobi came over with the usual clothes neatly ironed and pressed. And then a bug slipped while counting the clothes. A little enquiry and he reveals that there were bedbugs at his house. We warned him strictly. It is another matter to replace the dhobi(irreplaceable). That’s just not possible in an urban locale. You are left to fight your bug battles.