Ever walk down a quiet street, lost in thought? You go
by a car you think is empty, when suddenly its horn
goes off. You’re startled, but not scared ...
Well, that’s the limit of the frights in Book of
Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Loud noises. People pound
on desks, or walls, and the sound effect shakes the
theatre. There are no really frightening moments, just
a few weird scenes and boring characters yelling at
each other.
The characters in Blair Witch 2 know that the original
Blair Witch was just a movie. It opens with clips of
Roger Ebert, Conan O’Brien and Jay Leno discussing
the first film on their shows. They’re interspersed with
fake ’’interviews’’ with residents of the town where BW
was set, telling tourists to get lost. (Some people
believed that the first movie was an actual
documentary and went to Burkittsville, Md., to see for
themselves.)
Four young people sign up for a tour of the woods
where the characters in the first movie were
presumably murdered. Their guide, Jeff (Jeffrey
Donovan), has just been released from a mental
hospital. Throughout the film, he flashes back to his
time there, but we’re never told why he was
incarcerated. You’d think this would be integral to the
plot, but no.
There’s a Wiccan witch (Erica Leerhsen), a goth with
mental powers (Kim Director) and a couple (Stephen
Turner and Tristen Skylar) who argue about a surprise
pregnancy. All of the characters get their first names
from the actors who play them.
They spend their first night in the woods in the ruins
where the tapes from the first film were found. It’s
also their last night in the woods. Something happens
overnight and they race off to Jeff’s house in the
morning.
And ... they stay there. They all act a little weird and
they hammer accusations at each other. It’s like a
game of Clue, except with a loud Rob Zombie
soundtrack. Hallucinations play a big part, but it’s too
hard to tell why. Nothing makes sense. Nothing is ever
explained. Where does the Blair Witch fit in all this,
by the way? And why is it called the ’’Book of
Shadows’’? They don’t mention any such book, even in
passing.
Maybe we’re all supposed to say, ’’Ooooh, spooooky, ’’
and patiently await another sequel. No way.