Heard that they are going to produce "Making of the Blue" & lightening was struck through my body although I was wearing rubber slippers. I wonder, would it be different than below?
Anthony - “You know what Akki; let us do something that no one has ever dared to do in bollywood, some real comedy. The costliest movie ever. We can make the publicity of the film as costliest ever”.
Akki - “You see, I am a known name in Bollywood, so my role should be hero’s one”
Anthony - “Absolutely”
Anthony(innocently) - “But what are we going to show”.
Akki – “who cares? Show anything, the idiot bollywood will watch anything on the verge of Diwali”. *
Anthony** – “That is so true.” A long pause then “I actually wanted to make a blue film, but ……”
Akki - “What?” Akki felt down the chair. “We can’t show the reality. Wait a second; let us make the film called Blue, I won’t let your wish down my friend”.
Anthony(in tears) – “Akki, you are my best friend.”
Akki – “What if we involve Lara in bikini in the film. Kareena, Priyanka have been in bikini. Katrina also………” A long pause. “We have to involve Katrina as well, she is my best friend, plus she can bring a lot of youth to watch only her.”
Anthony – “As you say”.
Anthony – “Akki, that brings up an idea, I watched Blue(Hollywood) sometime back, let us remake it. It is about finding a treasure in the sea. You can be the protagonist. But we need some other heroes in the film.”
Akki – “Done dear. Baba can be one of the heroes. Besides we need someone who doesn’t look like a diver. He has earned stomach in no time. He can be the husband of Lara as well. They both look like father-daughter to make the comedy wittier”.
Anthony(Blushing) – “seems like our film is going to be a huge hit. So many big names. We need a clown in the film too. Zayed has been doing nothing & has turned out to be a curse for every film he was the part of. We can save his career. Let us give him something big this time. We’ll make him do action scenes on the bike. A real bike chase, something like in Matrix. This will increase the cost of the production.”
Akki – “But you said something about treasure hunt, how come chase scenes suddenly”.
Anthony – “Does it matter?”
Akki – (biting his tongue under teeth) – “I am eating my own words”.
Anthony – “Let me tell you, we can make the chase scenes breathtaking. We’ll bring in the best cinematographer - Laxman. We’ll shoot the scenes in Bangkok. Oh, I can see the scenes right now.”
Akki – “Alright. But I need to be involved in the chase scenes as well.”
Anthony – “Don’t worry, you’ll do everything. The 2nd chase scene is on you and Zayed”
Akki – “I want to fight with Baba & nail him down. It’s my wish for so long. I want a boxing scene in the movie where I flat him down on the ground with my tough muscles”. Shows him his photos of early 20’s.
Anthony – “Done”.
Akki – “You see; there is a trend in bollywood now, by casting Hollywood heroines for 5 mins & making a big woo about it. Even I am fed up dancing with bollywood actresses. We’ll bring Kylie Minogue this time and make her dance with me.”
Anthony(screaming his lungs out) – “Yesssssssssssssss”.
Akki – “ssssshhhhhuuuuu, Aarav is sleeping”.
Anthony – “We got your name as well for the film. It will be Aarav.”
Akki(laughing hysterically) – “I have tattoos on my body named Aarav, we can use them while filming me. It will show my body as well & also the tattoo. Make a good use of it”
Giving a high-five to each other.
Anthony** – “For Kylie Minogue’s song, we need the best composer. A R Rahman would be the best choice. We will also have Russle Pookutty for sound mixing, the creative mind.” Takes a brief pause. “We need some saga in the film. Let us make Zayed & Baba brothers. Zayed comes to seek help from Baba. Besides both don’t look each other’s brothers as well”. Smirks quietly.
Akki – “Do whatever you want to do with the couple”.
Anthony – “Zayed is in a grave danger of millions of dollars & hence asks Baba to for the treasure. And you help them out”.
Akki – “Do I look like a deity to you? I am a star besides I also have the family”.
Anthony – “Then let us say you do this for your family in the film”
Akki – “What do you mean? Do you want to involve Twinkle’s wrinkles in the film? Take my NO here”
Anthony – “No, no…I meant in the film, you are doing this for your family’s name to be honored again. We’ll keep it secret, as the shock value for the audience and you we’ll show you are driving the whole film. I love double twists. We can also make double twists in the film although they don’t fit to the story.” Twists his head slightly.
Akki(doesn’t give a damn about this) – “Doesn’t matter to me as long as I am the one in the film”
Anthony - But what is the role for Katrina? We can show her as the girlfriend of Zayed.
Akki - She must be mine in the film too.
Anthony - But you are married in real life & hero of the film, why do you want her?
Akki - Do you want me to do this film or not?
Anthony - Alright, for the 1st half, we’ll show Katrina as Zayed’s girlfriend & in the end, we’ll show she is your wife. Does that make sense?
Akki - Ok. But no kiss scenes for Zayed and Katrina. No bikini for her as well.
Anthony - Zayed in kiss with Katrina! that would be the greatest comedy ever(Anthony daydreaming .).
Akki slaps him.
Anthony says nothing for some moments then starts.
Anthony – “We’ll make, you three hunt for the treasure in the film. I have also chosen the water for it. See.” Shows him the fish tank. Drops his ring and chain in the tank. “There is your treasure as well. But we need excellent cinematographers to show this one as the actual sea. Laxman can handle it and no bollywood movie is complete without beautiful locations. We’ll choose Bahamas this time. Till the half of the movie we’ll just show the beautiful Bahamas. I just love that place. We’ll have to show it every now and then with songs. In the 2nd half, we’ll show that you are persuading Baba to get into the water but Baba complains as he has fear of water and we’ll show that he was once with his dad in the water but dad liked the dangerous sharks doing nothing to them & decided to stay there, enjoying underwater beauty. Baba now fears that dad’s ghost will be underwater.”
Akki – “Enough about the story, it is not important. I say, our film is complete now. We all will utter dialogues on the scenes directly. Have somebody’s name printed as dialgue writer for the sake of it. Alright, I have lot of work to do. Bring your camera and shoot my scenes.”
Anthony – “Sure sure, I am getting an idea of a sequel as well.”
Someone from the audience gets up & interprets "shoot" wrong and shoots both- the actor and director of the film. Audience hopes that they both are dead.