God gave me two of the most wonderful gifts, I could ever ask for. My two lovely daughters Lakshya and Disha. I would not call them princesses or angels, but they are two of the most lovable brats, you would ever meet. Mischievous, they can drive you to exasperation at times. The many broken toys and items in our home are testimony to that. But yet without them, my life would have been totally meaningless. So what is the best gift I can give these two little bundles of joy. Expensive toys, fancy chocolates, costly dresses, weekend bashes. Maybe, but there are some things more precious than those.
Am I being very old fashioned, out of tune with the modern world? If being modern, means forgetting some basic values, and being pretentious and showy, no thanks, I would rather be old fashioned. Too often we feel that just because something is expensive, and very trendy, we must buy it for our kids. And we feel proud that we are showering the most expensive gifts on them. But have we any time asked, do they really want that? Kids don’t read mouthshut.com nor do they scan magazines for the brands. Yes they do watch ads a lot and that could be an influence.
But at the end of the day, they want something because they like it. I once remember giving my daughters some very expensive Swiss chocolates, which one of my friends had bought me. They did not like it very much. But their faces light up when I bring that small packet of Marbles, because that’s what they really like. They take more pleasure in that small plastic toy or that nameless battery operated car, rather than those expensive brands which cost a fortune. Kids love the simple things in life. They like spending hours in the sun playing cricket with a plastic ball and bat. My elder daughter loves to ride her cycle, all day long.
The best gifts which you can give, are not the most expensive or fancy ones. It is those gifts which make your daughter genuinely happy. Does she love that kitschy looking plastic toy, she has seen on a pavement? Buy it for her. We have long ago stopped appreciating the simple things of life, why should we deny her those simple pleasures?My elder daughter, Lakshya, was in the hospital. The doctor and nurse remove her stitches which she had recently. I still remember her cries, calling out for me, as she felt the pain. She is alone in the hospital room, and though the doctor and nurse are trying their best, to make her feel better, she wants me to be by her side, more than any one else.
What if I had not been there? I shudder at the very thought. We might shower our kids with the most expensive gifts, but nothing, can substitute for being there when they need us. I can see it whenever my younger daughter, Disha, starts to weep, when she does not see her mother around. I can see it, whenever my daughters clutch me hard, while I hold them asleep. And I see it every evening, whenever I ring the doorbell, and they come running for their Dad. The best gift, you can give your daughters, is being there when they need you. Nothing beats it. I often work on the lap top, at home, or just do some browsing. Whenever I work on it, both my daughters come running there. They often keep disturbing my work, and at times I do get irritated. But then when my elder one, Lakshya, keeps pointing and says, “Daddy what is this? Windows”, “What is this? Intel”, * and then the other one Disha pipes in with *“Daddy, Laptop”. Very often, when I need to work, I put on Cartoon Network, as my elder one, is especially hooked on it.
I assume that she would be busy with it, and I could go on with my work. Tough luck, after some time, she comes to my side. It happened yesterday again, when she came, and saw me writing the review. That is when she also wanted to type something. And that taught me one thing, never take your children for granted, don’t assume things. They want to be part of whatever you are doing, and unless you are totally busy, involve them in it. The first book I gave my daughter was that of wild animals. She kept on me, until she made sure, that she knows the name of all the animals. And so on it was with vegetables, fruits, transport. Kids have lot of curiosity, they want to know a lot.
Don’t deny them that pleasure. Read to them, show them things, instead of spending time on TV. One of the best gifts you can give to your daughters is knowledge. And somehow I find this ironical, we blow up money on a dress, which wont be useful after a couple of years. We take pride in how extravagantly we have celebrated our daughter’s first birthday. But when she asks for a book, which hardly costs anything, we don’t even care to listen to her. I have ensured that I read to my daughter regularly. And at 4 years, she knows the names of all planets, she can identify any animal coming on Animal Planet, she can identify the flag of a country. I am a proud Indian, and I love my heritage and culture.
But at the same time, if my daughter loves to watch Tom & Jerry or Disney, I am not going to throw a fit. Tomorrow if she wants to learn Salsa instead of Bharat Natyam, I am not going to get a heart attack. Don’t push your ideas on her. Too often I seen parents, wanting their daughter to be something, because they were not, that is criminal in my opinion. Teach her to be broadminded enough to appreciate diversity. Being proud of your culture, does not mean, being a frog in the well, and treating everything western as an abomination.
At the same time, trying to appear, modern, and looking down on everything Indian, is like the tale of the crow who tried to look like a peacock. Today my daughters love seeing Tom & Jerry, but they also love Krishna and Hanuman. While she loves to decorate a Xmas tree, she also loves to celebrate Ganesh Puja. No gift is more precious than being there for your daughter, holding her hand and giving her love, care and affection. All the IPods, Xboxes and Play Stations can never compensate for the feeling that you are always there for her. That in effect is the best Gift I can give my daughters.