I’m writing this from a cyber-cafe...I’ve dropped my friend Nikki at a gift shop....and she said come back in an hour to pick me up....But its already 45 min in the hour....and i’ve no intention of going back early.
Us....guys....we dont spend a lot of time in Gift shops.......right??? I mean...talking about me....myself....your’s truly.....I go in the gift shop.....get the already pre-decided gift....and walk out in a space of 4 mins flat.....
I’ve till date been in a gift shop for more than 4 min’s only one time......when the guy at the counter had gone out to get himself a pitcher of Pepsi or Coke or whatever
But my point is still the same......Guys....(normally) dont spend a lot of time in the gift shop.
But girls....thats a different thing altogether.....take my friend for example......It was raining one day....and she wanted to go to the gift shop coz her friend’s birthday was comming up after a week (what kind of emergency is a birthday which is going to come after a week....that you have to go out in the dripping rain).....but anyways.....so she asked me to drive her to the mall.....
And so I did.......I hung around for a few minuites......after which I called her to ask her....whats keeping her there for such a long time......she answered.....’’oh I must have forgotten to tell u........pick me up in an hour.....).
Finally....an hour later I picked her up and asked her what kind of diamond-studded-gift she got her friend.......and she showed me a one-single-card-and-a-stuffed-bear.....!!!! Pure Exasperation.
Now for the Gifts themselves.....
If a guy wants to buy another guy a gift.....he’d probably go for something like a twin-backup-mp3-player-with-a-built-in-flashlight-and-two-COM-ports-for-adding-woofers-and-sub-woofers. But if u give the same gift to a girl.....she wont appreciate it.....instead she’d probably mutter Thank You and dump it aside in the back of her closet.
But instead if you give a girl....old candles.....reeking of wax and other ancient-witchcraft-fragnances......or a stuffed teddy bear or a cassette/cd of hideously slow-and-painful love songs.....she’d probably look at you with those eyes which sparkle like the glistening water of the streams in Ireland.
Now lets take the controversial opposite.......Girls buying gifts.
I learnt the hard way (as I detailed above) never ever to accompany a girl to a gift shop. But the prior number of times I have.....I have curiously analysed and examined their behaviour......
We enter the shop.......and as soon as we enter, the girl stops, looks around.....takes a deep breath (like she is going underwater....and she probably is going to be submerged under all those gifts).....and takes 5 min to decide where to start. (that as I said above is coincidentially the time.......in which I can be out of the gift shop provided the guy/gal at the counter is not out to get himself/herself a pitcher of pepsi or coke or whatever).....
Then if she chooses the card section.....she will read the inside of each and every card.....ponder on it for 2 mins thinking.....’’okay....does this really say what I want to say’’.....(if it doesnt.....take a blank card....and write down what u wanna say.....but no....they want a printed one only......if its out of stock....they order it and come back again)
Then.....after deciding which card....or rather which text of the card suits her best.....she makes her decision. The interesting thing to note here is....she never once looks at the cover where all the graphics and pictures etc are there.....thats mainly what I look at. And she never ever also looks at the price.....That is the other thing I look at.
More often than not.....she’s buy a card.....which has all those soft-long-’’ing’’-words-printed-on-the-insides-in-mammoth-size-sentences-which-never-have-a-full-stop. The cards I mostly get from guys (In the rare case....a guy gives me a card) is probably one with a naked girl....doing somersaults on the sofa.
If incase....the intended recepient is a guy....she’ll take a half an hour more to think about the fact that the message the guy gets....is only the message she intends to give....and none other than that.
And when they finally leave the store after handing over a large wad of notes to the gift shop owner......she’ll still take a final glance around.....’’did I miss something/ is anybody’s birthday coming in the next month/ did I really choose the correct card/correct gift/ I think that colour would have been better...........and so on’’.....
She’s so engrossed in this....she doesn’t even notice if the shop owner hands the girl back the correct amount of change....if the shop owner does hand back the change. According to my remarkably accurate estimates.....roughly 2% of India’s GDP is due to this unclaimed change....the girls ’forget’ to take.....when they’re deeply engrossed in looking around the store.
I guess thats about it.....I would have written more but I still have to go and pick up my friend who’s at the gift shop. She said 1 hour....but its been more like 1 hour and 20 min....but I still dont have a call from her......i dont think she really cares...if I dont even show up at all.....She’s in her own little world.
Gotta run....or rather.....i’ll just waltz along slowly on the road.......I simply cannot run out of time when Nikki is in the Gift shop.