(warning-a thoroughly useless review of The Concise Art of Seduction, book by Robert Greene)
Dear StillSmarting the roomie,
Despite your stern warnings that you will not tolerate any more books being added to the already tall piles that I have created in every corner, and because of which we cannot open the bathroom door within any time considered reasonable by a full bladder, I have been unable to resist getting yet another one called The Concise Art of Seduction, by Robert Greene, for some ’’pretty serious’’ reasons - I like the pretty red, blue and gold cover - and- it isnt a serious book at all. Besides, I’m unable to resist anything that starts with ’’The Art of’’.
StillSmarting, I know you have said of the last five books I bought, that they are perfectly useless and nobody needs to read them, and before you repeat yourself, let me reassure you. I feel this book may actually have something useful because its not 5 laws, or 7 laws or even 10 - Its 24 laws. StillSmarting, I know even you could write 5 or 10 laws on any subject. (Which is why I never buy such books). But the author has no doubt been burning the midnight oil to produce 24. If it had been 10 or less, I would take your advice to save the 145 bucks, and just memorize the laws or jot down on my left palm.
StillSmarting, I know you particularly dislike my buying books where the author, not content with a title, also needs a subheading to write a summary of the book like ’’How I wanted to kill myself but met an insurance salesman embroiled in an international spy-ring and ended up saving the world with help from the dog in the Taco Bell commercial’’. But this one is shortly subtitled 24 Laws of Persuasion, just so no one will mistake it for an update of the Kamasutra. StillSmarting, its advice on how to persuade, seduce and influence anybody.
So you ask who is this Greene and why does he presume to advice people? Well, apparently he’s a former editor of Esquire and some other magazines, and has a Classical Lit degree and lives in LA. I know that’s not too helpful, StillSmarting, but its just enough to know that he’ll be busy writing, leaving the persuading to others.
According to the author, StillSmarting, you (and everyone else) are probably one of the 9 types - The Siren, The Rake, The Ideal Lover, The Dandy, The Natural, The Coquette, The Charmer, The Charismatic, and The Star. For eg, The Siren type is the ultimate fantasy figure for men because she offers a total release from the limitations of his life, whereas the Rake is a great fantasy figure for women who never feel desired and appreciated enough. . StillSmarting, what you are is a mix - - a Natural S(ire)n(R)ake Charmer.
For the book price, StillSmarting, we also get sidebar short quotes from all sorts of classic references - from The Erotic Poems of Ovid to Don Juan, to Greek Myths, to The Seducer’s Diary by Kierkegaard, which perfectly fit SMS message sizes, and hence can be used in dating emergencies, should it be required to appear erudite and full-of-shit instantly.
Dear StillSmarting, then the author gets into the Seductive Process stepwise - beginning with 1) Choosing the Right Victim. How do you recognize your victims? By the way they respond to you, or you to them. Perhaps they make you uneasy. (you always have, StillSmarting, but I think its mostly the screaming in your sleep). Perhaps their unconscious responses like a blush, an involuntary mirroring of your gestures, an unusual shyness, or even a flash of anger. Anyone who has an effect on you, or vice versa, is open to influence.
Then we come to 2) Create a False sense of security - Approach Indirectly (StillSmarting, that doesn’t mean sending your mother)
and 3) Send Mixed Signals (to keep the interest going - also known as blowing hot and cold, and sometimes sitting on the fence)
and 4) Appear as Object of Desire, create triangles (People want what others want. Manufacture the illusion of popularity. Like using fake IDs to artificially bid up the price on bazee.com, StillSmarting)
and 5) Create a Need, Stir Anxiety and Discontent (A perfectly satisfied person cannot be seduced, so create unnecessary need. )
and 6) Master the Art of Insinuation (dropping hints that take root in the unconscious. Yes, StillSmarting, subliminal advertising. Not T-Shirts that say Will Work for Sex)
and 7) Enter their spirit. (enter their world, like what they like, do what they do, draw people out. Just stop short of wearing their underwear, StillSmarting. )
etc etc
The fine print as usual in the very end, StillSmarting... Step No. 24) Beware the Aftereffects. After a successful seduction follows Danger. Moods, after one extreme, tend to swing to the other-lassitude, disappointment, distrust. The victim will cling and claw (like the shower victim in Psycho with the curtains). If the game is to go on, a second seduction is required.
So, I think I’ve said enough about this book. Await fatwa by return post. No letterbombs please, my doorman has a family.
Yours Persuasively, if not very Concisely,
The Gurl
(The Concise Art of Seduction (Robert Greene) Published 2004, Viva books)