Vividly recalling his harrowing nightmare involving Madhuri Dixit, Manjo promptly brushes his teeth and kisses his Pomeranian before going to bed......
Sunday noon, at Brigade road, Bangalore.
Manjo had a lovely time watching Naina with the ageless B’wood beauty, Dimple Kapadia. He was grinning from ear to ear, especially when Dimple huddled closer during the scary scenes.
Coming out, they grab bags of popcorn, hold hands and walk lazily, absorbing the great climate of Bangalore.
Manjo: Loved the movie, na?
Dimple: Yes, sugarcane. Never expected today’s directors to dish out such cool stuff.
Manjo: I always wanted to be an actor. Anyway, my passion lost steam after graduation.
Dimple: That’s sad. One day, I hope you will do justice to your talent.
Manjo is pleasantly stunned by Dimple’s sincere compliment.
Dimple: Btw, don’t smile too much. Your clips are showing.
Manjo (shoulders deflating all of a sudden): Err...thanks. Sigh, if I had such silken tresses like yours & Salman-type biceps, I would be signing checks in a Hollywood studio today!
Dimple (tossing her golden locks over Manjo’s face): Lol, you have a long way to go, munna.
Manjo: Mmm.....wonderful fragrance. Your hair is heavenly.
Dimple: Oh, stop it! (blushing)
Manjo: I’m serious, Rudaali gal. Do you use Dabur Vatika?
Dimple (almost spilling the popcorn, laughing out loud): WHAT?! DABUR?! ME?! I never use any of the swadeshi products. After successfully launching my candles, I’m now into homemade hair oils & shampoos which are effective too.
Manjo: Sorry for embarassing you. I never used a hair oil before. Witnessing my falling hair, my concerned friends recommended Vatika recently. After a month of use, I can literally feel the difference. The hairdrops are almost history, no dandruff, no annoying scent, smooth hair...Even my friends exclaim, ’’Manjo, are you wearing a wig? Gosh! Your hair is growing!!’’
Dimple continues to laugh and leans on Manjo for support.
Suddenly, a red 2005 Ferrari FXX vrooms into view and breaks smoothly before Dimple & Manjo. A handsome Vinod Khanna lookalike in tight pink T-shirt emerges from the machine and gives a sly smile at Dimple..
Dimple: Eeeek! Oh my god! This is unbelievable! Akshaye, what the *#@# are you doing here?!! Wow!!
Dimple runs towards the Khanna and hugs him again & again.
Manjo stands like an inconsequential moth nearby and gives a feigned smile.
Akshaye: Hi Dimple, it’s terrible meeting you! And who’s that ugly duckling besides you?!!
Furious, Manjo immediately prepares his body to do a Kungfu Hustle but Dimple intervenes in the nick of time.
Dimple: Oh Manjo, I forgot. Meet Akshaye Khanna. Ofcourse, you must have watched a few of his movies. Unfortunately, he had a serious head injury last week and speaks only opposite of what he thinks!!!
Manjo suppresses his laughter and shakes hand with the Himalay putra.
Dimple: Manjo was telling me about Dabur’s efficacies. Obviously, he is clueless of my Rinkie Twinkle oils.
Akshaye: Is that so, Manjo? Look at me, I’m a irregular user of Rinkie Twinkle, and see the state of my hair. It’s falling amazingly. Outright pathetic!!!
Dimple blushes betroot red and gazes at Akshaye’s eyes while coiling her hair around her finger repeatedly.
Manjo (puzzled and finally deciphering what the knucklehead said): But look at my hair! Vatika is as good as any around and costs only 20/-. It’s a premium coconut hair oil enriched with Henna, Amla, lemon and 5 other trusted herbs. It’s unique natural formulation ensures deeper oil frustration....wait a minute (Manjo runs into a shop, buys a Vatika, rushes back, reads the contents & resumes)...sorry for that. I meant penetration to give your hair and scalp complete nourishment for problem free, healthy hair. And believe me, it works !
Akshaye: Ha! what a gr8 salespitch. Now don’t listen to what I’ve to say. Rinkie Twinkle is a nonsense........wait a minute. Hey OFFICER! What’re you doing, man? That’s not my car, please take it !!!
Akshaye, Dimple and Manjo watch in horror as a burly officer comes and hooks our hero’s swanky car to a police crane.
Akshaye (aprroaching the officer): Please man! My parents will not kill me. For devil’s sake, take it away!!!
The officer gives a weird look at Khanna, shakes his head and continues to jot something in his notepad.
Dimple (hurrying near): I’m sorry officer. My friend is unable to speak coherently due to a head injury. Please don’t confiscate his vehicle.
Officer: Look lady, this crap is illegaly parked. Kindly take your insane friend off my leg and go away. I’ve better things to do.
Losing his cool, Akshaye shoves the officer. SLAP !! Akshaye lies dazed on the ground while the irate officer grumbles some local slang and storms away with the towed Ferrari.
Dimple: Oh my god, Akshaye! Are you alright, dear? Your cheek looks awesome!!
Akshaye (clutching his head): What a sixer! I’m actually feeling much better now.
Dimple (unaware that the slap cured Akshaye’s neurological error): Oh you poor little thing! Let me take you home right away.
Dimple helps Akshaye to his feet, holds his arm and gingerly walks forward leaving hapless Manjo & the popcorns behind.
Shouting expletives for all to hear, Manjo aims the Vatika at Akshaye’s head and calculates geometrical angles, Pythagoras theorem & Einstein’s relativity before hurling the 100ml bottle visciously. PLONK !! Dimple crashes head first to the ground, like a runover pedestrian.
Akshaye: Oh my god! Dimple, are you okay? (sob) Your face! (sob) It resembles Laloo’s kurta!!
Dimple (getting up clumsily, clutching her head and falling on Akshaye’s macho arms): Darling, I don’t feel dizzy. Leave me alone and get lost !!!
Akshaye gasps unbelievingly. Despite her physical protests, he gently lays her on the pavement and walks away with a sullen face.
Manjo, realising what actually happened, laughs out loud and runs happily towards Dimple’s rescue.
Manjo (almost near & screaming loud): Don’t worry, darling. I will never leave you. Main hoon na! BANG !!! Manoj slams head first on an electric pole and falls into a waiting manhole...
Opening his eyes, Manjo finds himself on the floor near his bed. He shakes his head and attempts to get up.
Mother standing nearby: Tch, tch. Another bad dream, eh? Whom did you fail to rescue this time? Dimple, Rekha or Sherawat?
Manjo (rubbing his bruised behind): Sigh, Dimple.
Mother: Bachke rehna re baba! Forgot Vatika again? How many times do I have to tell you to put it on overnight for best results......