Broken hearts still beat.
No matter what happens our hearts don’t stop beating, the day it stops beating we are devoid of all sense and feelings. The topic points out clearly our heart breaks are painful and we need to deal with the pain and the resultant effects it leaves on our mind and body.
It is the people we love break our hearts, lets tackle love first, if I watch carefully infants when they are holding a bright colored toy, what they do invariably is put it in their mouth. He feels the urge to chew it, take it out look at it and again wet it with saliva and try to chew it, that is our first love, look at him for hours he keeps doing it, take that toy from him, he cries and the whole house can hear his tiny voice, that’s heart break.
When we desire a person very much and we try to find out does he desire us as such, then we let go of our caution and enjoy the company. I remember whenever I sit in the merry go round, the first cycle I am clutching at the iron bar very tightly and when I begin to feel safe and there is no harm is letting go the iron bar, I let up and relax and take the thrill of the ride.
Once upon a time I was standing at the crossroads of heartbreak, what I did is I plugged myself into the sufferings I saw since my childhood all around me, I recalled all the folks I saw dealing with heart break, I took deep breath and kept mum and I made myself loose the will to be hasty, I became deliberate with everything I am doing, even lifting a spoon I made it a point to do it in slow motion, I made myself numb to the stimuli and pondered and pondered.
2 or 3 days in this mood, I was getting back my footing and the fog was clearing, I heard my hidden self asking me is the person who was dear to you, is he the same, the eyes changed, the nose changed, I realized I am not able to chew him like I used to do before, only this reality changed but the person is the same.
The change in the person is difficult to cope with, the change in the eyes and in the tone of voice is difficult to cope with. What I realized that my person was capable of this change. But I did not expect it and I did not foresee this quality in him/her, I am to blame for my lack of doing proper homework, so I must face the change and the pain. What I decided then and there is if she is capable of change, I am capable of change too, why not her heart is tough and mine is tender no. I am a very competitive person, why should I give up the race, I will just let go of the person and suppress the pull of his/her addiction and go on with life. When There is no water in the well, what is the use of lowering the pail. I thought and thought till I understood the situation very clearly and I was able to note all the feelings of my body and mind and as soon I realized what is my body going thru and my mind going thru, I was able to evolve solutions for this changed circumstances
You see once I freed myself from the joys of the past, the happiness bygone, I started coming back to myself and started thinking should I hate this person, should I take revenge from him, should I insult him or should I hurt him?
The echoes from the depths of my inner space were no, no, no, I cannot be disloyal to myself, I have enjoyed the company of this person, there were shared pleasure between us, there was my heart which is a witness to my previous feelings, if I regret the past I will be disgusted with myself, I cannot let that happen, I will not deny the past nor hate the present, I will just think the Rose I had in my hand lost its petals and its beauty. It is easy to let go of dried up flowers, what I am going to do holding the stalk. I know there are other Roses out there in this beautiful wide world. I must keep hope and I must learn to live without my old Rose and go on with the daily grind. Even if I don’t find another Rose, I am a self sufficient person and that is enough for me to have a life, people will come to me desiring my love. It happened in the past and we all know HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.
Believe me we don’t have gears or switches in our body, we have chemicals, hormones, spasms, all these require time, like the fever requires time to get healed, lets leave the control stick, no matter how much you crave to chew on your lost toy, you will get over it one day. The sooner the better.
Let the life reproduce juices again, let the thrills of bungee jumping, parachuting, the silent smiling, the senseless giggling overpower you once again and the past will look like a distant landmark, fading everyday and loosing its sting and the identity, we will reach a point in time where we will have to scratch our memory to recall what happened in the past. One day all this will look like your neighbors story, funny and curious.
Pride and Love cannot live in the same heart, a dog can be friend with cat and a lion can be trained to live with a goat but Pride and Love do not mate and will never mate, Love is to understand and provide comfort before the partner opens his mouth to ask! It is simple when understood, it is pure without alloys.
The sun shines everyday it is our duty to keep a big window open to bring in the warmth and the light inside, let the shine enter your heart and reflect it from the face. A closed heart will have difficult time every time in life an open heart gives you the reason to giggle and hearty laughs. Keep the big wide smiles ready for your life in future.
Yo people tender hearts break early!