” Of all that is allowed to the mankind, God despises divorce(talaq) the most” -Says Holy Quran
Divorce is a very delicate issue and if not dealt properly could lead to stress and worries through out the life. May be due to increased western influence, may be due to the financial independence achieved by today’s woman, whatever be the reason, it’s a known fact that Divorce is increasing in our society. For some Divorce can be a much sought after blessing while for others it would have been best avoided.
“Marriages are made in heaven”- it is said. What can one do if he/she feels that their marriage was made in hell or maybe somewhere worse than that? The best way to end an abusive, loveless marriage is to get separated than live on with the torture for the entire life. After all, you live only once and there is no point in dragging on with all the sufferings till your life comes to an end. But is divorce the ultimate solution for all the marital problems?
Marriages are always celebrated grandly but do we realize about the realities of the practical life that awaits the bride/groom after all the celebrations? Marriage demand a lot of understanding, trust, patience, love, care, respect and of course lots of adjustments from both the partners. Its always better to marry only when you are mentally prepared for sharing your life with another person.
Once you are married, you should learn to see your partner as a separate individual with his/her thoughts, likes/dislikes and principles of living… Forcing ones likes/dislikes on the partner too early will only lead to problems. Trust is another major factor. Respect each others privacy.“Give respect and take respect” applies well to marriage. Same goes for trust too. Both should try to adapt well to the new situations. In any argument, always try to understand the partners view too. Just think from their side too and it really helps! We do have fights with our siblings and parents but that doesn’t make us cut off our relation with them(except in very rare cases).
And never let any relative/friend interfere in to your personal matters unless you are too desperate……Third party interference will only complicate the matters further.
Prevention is better than cure but if there is no way of saving a marriage inspite of trying real, real hard, then its better to part ways. This may not be so easy as it sounds and it should be the last step. Many factors like job, family, finance etc matters. It’d be difficult for both for a while but considering that women are more emotional than men, they’ll be more badly affected. I’ve seen many finding it difficult to cope up with the void that suddenly comes to exist in their lives. Still worse if there are children because they would be the ones torn between the parents.
No matter how much advanced our lives has become, there still exists the more orthodox or conservative society which always view a divorcee with suspicion. I’ve heard of many instances when even close relatives/friends would stay off divorced women and not let their husbands/sons even speak or mingle with her. Better give such people a deaf ear and carry on with your life. Try to be with those who can understand you and give you support. Start life afresh. Priority to be given to ones life and children(if any).Try to engage yourself in some activities that interests you. Never let you feel lonely and try to always think about the positive aspect of life. Learn to manage the finances on your own. Take help from others in financial matters only when its necessary but you should still know what is being done. One should also take good care of themselves because if we don’t take care of ourselves, then no one else will.
Its never too late for anything in life. Have confidence in yourself and think well before taking any decisions so that you never have to repent on any decision you have made but do learn from your mistakes. Before thinking of another marriage, get to know the person really well and take your own time to decide.After all, it shouldn’t be a case of jumping from the pan to the fire
P.S. I know your view may differ from my opinion. Your comments are most welcome.