I have to confess that I have many phobias. Phobia of cockroach was one that I have already written a review on. Yet there are a few that I have developed over the time but also discovered ways to combat them. Here is my list –
**Cherophobia(Fear of Gaiety) **
I used to love gaiety in all forms but since the day I watched ‘Hum Aapke Hain Kaun’, I developed a strange phobia for it. In this movie, the men were happy, the women were happy and even the dogs were happy. There was so much joyfest all over the place. Every two minutes sprang a song to further display gaiety. Every one second someone grinned horrendously to show happiness. And I left the theatre reeling with the phobia which makes me shout and run for cover everytime I see happy families singing songs.
**Chorophobia(Fear of Dancing) **
I used to love to be twinkle toes and since I was a kid, I have been dancing non-stop. Yet, something happened to instill a deep phobia for dancing forever. Govinda and Karisma Kapoor happened. They thrust their fat pelvises vulgarly in all directions, they clung to each other, they made obscene gestures, they heaved, they huffed, they puffed. Name it, and they did that. They did a ‘sarkaylo khatia’. They did a ‘a aa ee u oo o’ . They danced and danced away in my worst nightmares.
**Odontophobia(Fear of Teeth) **
OK. No one really loves to see teeth flashing but can somebody develop a phobia for teeth? I did. Ever since Madhuri Dixit, Juhi Chawla and Renuka Shahane bared their thirty-two intact and that set the trend for all bollywod heroines to bare their canines. Agreed that Madhuri has a lovely smile but doesn’t she know when to quit? Does she have to grin morning, noon and night? And Renuka Shahane as the goody goody bhabhi in HAHK kills with her smile(literally). These ladies left Bollywood but made sure they passed the teethy torch in the able hands of their successors, Rani and Preity. Thank God for the sensible Kajols and Tabus that I could continue watching movies without shuddering.
**Deipnophobia(Fear of Dining or dinner conversations) **
I watched families dining in’Hum Aapke Hain kaun’, ’Hum Saath Saath Hain’ and’Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam’ and developed this phobia. Giant tables in gigantic rooms. Twenty family members of all ages, sizes and shapes sitting round it. So much gaana, bajaana and khana. Usually Alok Nath as the patriarch sitting with his toothy smile at the head of the table. A chulbuli heroine sitting among them in full makeup and designer clother. A hero(usually Salman or Mohnish) sitting and cracking poor jokes and eyeing the heroine. Chhed-chhad and hasi mazaak. Aaaaargh! If evey meal of mine would be like that, I would have stopped eating long back.
**Herpetophobia(Fear of Creepy, crawly things) **
You’ll develop this phobia too, if you happen to see Hrithik Roshan in ‘Main Prem ki Diwani hoon’. The poor boy has stopped existing in his human form and has taken a new form altogether which will send shivers down your spine every time he so much as even moves. Shudders become you as he sings and flexes his bunched up muscles in your face. It took time for me to recover the experience but go ahead and even say ‘Prem’ and I’ll go screaming out the door, I assure you.
**Poophobia(Fear of Poo)**
I know such a term does not exist. It has been coined by yours truly and I am sure it will catch on. Watch Ms. Poo(Kareena Kapoor) pout in that obscene fashion every two minutes. Catch her swiveling her hips and speaking in that aaargh… irritatingly ingratiating fashion. Catch her throwing a superior smirk around her with a ‘I am a monarch of everything I survey’ look and you’ll get it buddy. Also if you will be brave enough watch ‘Main Prem ki…’ and ‘Mujhse Dosti Karoge’. In that case, I promise you, you will have to visit the shrink.
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I learnt how to deal with my fears. Live and learn. Every experience teaches you. I turned a blind eye to the Barjatyas. I mechanically switched off the television when I saw Govinda prancing about. I developed deafness when I heard Poo’s squeaking voice. I learnt to change the channel the moment I espied dining tables.
Here are some of the phobias which I DON’T have:
**Rhabdophobia: Fear of being beaten by rod or instrument of punishment-
Catagelophobia or Katagelophobia: Fear of being Ridiculed
Scelerophobia. – Fear of being harmed by wicked persons
Taphephobia - Fear of being buried alive
Thanatophobia. – Fear of Death
Cryophobia – Fear of extreme cold or frost
Mastigophobia- Fear of Flogging
Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia - Fear of being smothered or choked
Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Phasmophobia - Fear of .hosts
Atomosophobia - Fear of Atomic Explosions **