My mother’s favorite phrase to describe someone that looked like they just got out of bed was’She went out the door looking like Hope digging potatoes!’ Yes, it sounds country, and it’s silly, and you are wondering to yourselves, ’Who’s Hope?’ Hope’s fictitious, but imagine how scruffy YOU would look if you had to do that all day.
It’s hard to know how to dress when you are headed out the door to a party or formal function like a wedding. The key to making a good impression is sometimes just NOT making a bad impression. THe first thought that enters my mind when I shop for an event that requires more than jeans is’What can I wear that WON’T make me look like Hope digging potatoes?’
If you are headed to a formal function where you know you will see people that you work with on weekdays, then you are responsible for dressing with dignity. Letting your boss see you at a wedding that you were both invited to in cleavage-baring red sequins and a hemline all the way up to North Dakota is definitely a bad idea. An impression of you in something revealing or otherwise tacky and inappropriate will linger with them for a long time, and their memories will be jogged by it when you go to make a presentation or ask for a promotion.
The same holds true for parties where you will run into your in-laws or friends of your family. Don’t wear the kinds of clothes that you wouldn’t wear to your parents’ house on Sunday dinner because you know they wouldn’t approve if you know you will see them or their friends at the gathering.
A few things that I ask myself before I get dressed for a party include but are not limited to:
Would my mother have made me go back upstairs to change out of it when I was a teenager?
Would my husband be embarrassed if I wore this out the door?
Does it need to be dry cleaned when I am finished wearing it, and is it difficult to iron and keep neat? Will it be ruined if I drop cake or spill soda on it?
Will this outfit hold up to my holding my kids on my lap for half the night?
Can I dance in this outfit?
Can I bend over in this outfit?(If the answer is a resounding, loud NO, don’t wear it.)
A few other things that I check for are just personal, and they are important to me because I have a two-baby figure and I am conservative(well, somewhat conservative):
Tight in the wrong places: If the sleeves are too tight for me to raise my arms, it will be awful if I have to raise my glass to make a toast. If it is too tight in the seat, it will look ridiculous, and I will wonder if people are looking at my backside and telling themselves’It’s like two pigs fighting under a blanket’ like in Steel Magnolias. Your outfit should give you a smooth silhouette without showing’lumps’ where you aren’t smooth. Buy it enough to flow away from you.
Too short: If you go to a wedding and your skirt is too far above the knee, you can bet other people will be talking about you after the reception, and not kindly. Long skirts are always appropriate for a wedding, or a sensibly tailored pair of dress slacks(if you typically wear slacks).
Shoes: Two inches are a high enough heel so you can dance.
Loud colors: IF you feel confident enough to pull it off, wear them, but if everyone else you have talked to is wearing gray or beige, leave the orange chiffon with gold sequins at home. Unless your mother is also wearing orange with gold sequins, then it’s fine.
Big hair: If you have small children, you might want a simple hairstyle that won’t be ruined if you child grabs at your head. I made the mistake of wearing an enormous upsweep of Grecian curls studded with faux pearl-decorated bobby pins to a wedding two summers ago, and my son had a field day with my hair! The choker necklace and dangling earrings weren’t a great idea, either. Ouch!
Pick sensible fabrics: Keep sheer fabrics limited to overlays if the underdress is opaque, or if it only makes up the sleeves. Fabrics with a high percentage of acetate or rayon will wrinkle easily, as will%100 linen. Silk shantung is elegant and has enough body to it to stay nice all night long, as does’saxophone, ’ the fake version made from polyester. It also doesn’t shine as much as regular silk or satin, which may emphasize the rounder areas of your body, like a pot belly if you have one.
Stockings: If you skirt is short, wear full-length stockings. I once saw a woman in a long skirt that had a high slit(kick pleat) in the back, but she made the mistake of wearing knee-high nylons. You could see the unsightly top bands of the stockings whenever she turned to walk away!
Stores: Make sure to shop in a reputable women’s store with someone older and more sensible working in the fitting room, so you can get an honest opinion on how it looks. If you go to a young women’s store with anorexic-looking mannequins, the clerk might talk you into a white mohair minidress with a red maribou feather stole and six-inch heeled Lucite shoes to top it off. I prefer stores with women who look at least my mom’s age that will tell me if a dress makes me look like I am falling out of it and suggest good foundation undergarments.