Koi star (writer) hain
koi bekaar (writer) hain
Hai sach to ye doston
Ho I am the best I am the best I am the best.*
Yes. We are ALL - THE BEST here, especially those of you - who have warmly and firmly ensconed me in your ’Trust List’. Of course the six reviewers who have added me to their ’Hate List’, the exceptions that cannot differentiate their bheja from their tush.
Since we are BEST here, I won’t waste time discussing all the BEST reviewers due to time [mine] and space [MS] constraints. Instead I shall focus on some interesting reviewers on Mouthshut. Not that others are uninteresting, but these few reviewers have a way of standing out in a crowd. The so-called ’Creme De La Creme’
Reserved seats for Ladies
Amrita
Point Considered : The first and foremost MS diva.
Point Elevated on a pedestal : She has sent me ’I love your reviews’ M2M twice.
Point Shoved into waste basket : I know many will bay for my blood, but can’t help it. Her views may be controversial, and she does go south when everyoneelse goes north. Her views make interesting reads, especially her comments section, where everyone and his/her grandmother attempt ’Actualization’. She rocks MS like no other reviewer.
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : She held the record for highest number of comments ( 165 for her Bangalore one) until the jodi-number-one of flyingelephant and Prof. Shakarotti began their innings. However, she still leads as she doesn’t write as many response-comments as the current batch do.
Current Status : She’s there somewhere.
MagicalSummer/Mags
Point considered : She reads every review of mine, and has commented on most of them too.
Point Shoved into waste basket : She also writes interesting and humorous reviews [ as if this matters ]
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : She’s a regal lady as per eyewitness accounts on MS. Also keeps a well-stocked kitchen and welcoming of guest (at least until she meets Fauladi).
Current Status : In a ’Nishabd’ mode, still, contemplating on Amitabhs relationship with Jiah Khan.
Afrank/Sujata
Point Considered : She has a pretty pic in her profile. She was pretty supportive of me in my early days (here). Her Takiya Kalam is ’Love’.
Point Shoved into waste basket : She also writes really well - most of the time. And when she doesn’t makes up for it with her writing skill!
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : She’s very forgiving of criticism ( except by me!). Our own ’Munni Behen’ ( ji was considered too risky). Don’t go by her normal ’I dream of butterflies fluttering in moonlight’ fantasy fiction. She’s quite capable of ’Murder’ too.
Current Status : Makes an occassional splash, here. A regular at Delhi MS meets. Probably busy assisting Shakarotti in his next project on penetration of rhesus monkeys in Africa.
Amatuerabe/Abha
Point Considered : Gee Hee Hyuk Hyuk. She has a nice stock of bedsheets to complement her wardrobe.
Point Shoved into waste basket : She also writes some of those totally pointless hilarious reviews about Cel Cabs, Fabulous HOT ’Maals’ and what not.
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : She likes Shobha De. And perhaps Kushwant Singh too? Gee Hee Hyuk Hyuk
Current Status : She’s on a bumpy ride to motherhood, which is a relief as I don’t have to waste my time reading her seductively-packaged masterpieces.
*Very Gentle Reviewers
FlyingElephant/Sanjoy
Point Considered : Likes OM. Likes Rock. Carries a much-scribbled T-shirt around. He chews comments with an Elephantine appetite and spits out even more.
Point shoved into waste basket : Always remains on track and on topic. Sensitive to reader sentiments [ removes some of the controversial stuff.... which shall never be forgiven]. Humongous fan following.
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : Watches adult anime.
Current Status : Ruminating on past record-breaking feats. Waiting for next movie from Mahesh Bhatt camp (and similar category directors)
Shyamnambiar/Shyam
Point Considered : Master of Crevices, Orifices, Conduits etc.
Point shoved into waste basket : Well researched reviews, each one worthy of Doctorate from Dada Kondke institute of Advanced Linguistics.
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : Much travelled and even more discussed member
Current Status : Banished to Russia with a promisary note - Not to return. However, promises are made to be broken.
Shakarotti Reviewers
sudipto33/Prof. Shakarotti/Dr. Sudipto
Point Considered : There is only one reviewer in this category!
Point shoved into waste basket : <>
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : Read his reviews. Don’t read it from office. And don’t hold me responsible for any damages to your sides.
Current Status : Mustard-oiling his dreadlocks
Somewhat Gentle Reviewers
Walking_Dude/Fauladi Singh
Point Considered : At least half the crowd will ask ’why you didn’t add yourself?’. So let me do the honors. Besides, not many are going to add me to theirs, anyways!
Point shoved into waste basket : Some are sure to blow their gaskets. But it’s all part of the game, baby
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : neksht mukhyamantriji of beehar
Current Status : Shuddering some pesky udders
Not Gentle Reviewers
Anyone questioning my choices and/or self-inclusion
Point To Be Considered : My DL is empty, but don’t count on it.
Point that will be shoved into waste basket : All your points will be!
Extra Very Very Very Useful info : Alk_ranjan, (un)Cool_tanmay, DismantleBrigade/Juggernaut already included by default
Current Status : Sharpening their knives
*All those included, keep it in mind while submitting your lists. Those who already did, edit your reviews ASAP.
My apologies to all other interesting reviewers, who consider themselves interesting, for willing and unwilling non-inclusion. But don’t worry aap ka number bhi aayega. Till then -
(From Mariah Careys ’Hero’)
There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul