Sigh.I learn something new EVERYDAY while I drive.and its not always pleasant. Ok.it NEVER is. Never driven on Mumbai roads unlike many of you out there.whenever I’m in Mumbai, its always a taxi or driver-driven car. And I don’t know why but I really feel that though the traffic in Mumbai is more intense than in my city, it is deifinitely more structured. I learnt how to drive only about 9 months back.
Soon as I was eligible for a licence. I used to drive a Honda Activa before that and I feel that driving a two-wheeler is a lot easier than driving a car. Well, so my parents got me a new car. Here’s its life story so far. it was a cute little thing, golden coloured.I was soooo happy ki woh meri zindagi mein aayi.After 1 month - It was still just the same as it was when I had bought it. Because, my grandpa insisted that the driver sit beside me for at least a month since I was a beginner.Month 2 - I was driving peacefully.huge AMTS bus comes to my left.no problem yet.but then.the king of the road.guy on a BIKE squeezes himself(and his bike) between me and the bus.bus turns slightly towards me.
In order to save himself the bikewallah swerves towards my car and gives it a WONDERFUL dent on the front near the left headlight. I had joined the club! Oh yeah.and as if I was the greatest criminal on earth, HE stares at me as if I was responsible. I was about to get down and give him a verbal dose.but the traffic behind me was mounting.getting restless and VERY noisy.BEEP BEEPP.so I let go.Month 3: Fortunate. Uneventful.Months 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8: Ditto that.Month 9: Waiting at a traffic signal.signal opens.people make a dash.even before I could move, a black Chevy overtakes me from the wrong side and I dont know what he was thinking par usne meri gaddi ko left side se puri ghis dali.when his car touched mine, he should’ve moved away but he was so fast.before I could swerve to the other side, he gave me a brilliant black scratch on the left side of the body.
Few days later, after a very tiring day, I was going in reverse, taking my car out of a(so called) parking area.banged into a tree.and broke a tail light. My fault. What I learnt?Here’s what.
1) People just LOVE driving on the wrong side. Its a matter of pride for many to break the rules.
2) Their eyes are everywhere except on the road.
3) They just LOVE glaring at you as if you’re some kind of runaway convict and they’ve just seen your face on a’Wanted’ board and they feel you resemble that photo. Aapko pehle bhi kahin dekha hain.
4) Rickshaw-drivers.arre bhai.inko licence kaise diye jaate hain.they just swerve towards ANY side without warning and then squabble.
5) Some bicyclewallahs and wannabe Aryans like in D2 think that they are exempt from the rules and regulations of Indian traffic.
6) Without music in your car, you’ll get BORED.
7) For some’mahaan hastis’, it is a great feat to zoom out of some obscure lane onto the main road without slowing down or honking your horn, hitting somebody or something and then running away.
8) My driving instructor told me this .’ Gaadi aise hi soch ke chalao ki tumhare sivvah sab gadhe hain. har cheez ka dhyaan tumhe hi rakhna padta hain.nuksan to aapka ki hoga.galti chahe aapke ho ya saamnewale ki.’ 9) Pray to God before you leave your house and thank him after you reach your destination.
10) Gaadi ka horn bigad gaya hain, toh rickshaw mein chale jaana.ya kisi aur ke saath jaana.
11) And when you and your friends leave your class together and everybody is on his own vehicle, don’t agree to their suggestion to RACE home.10 niklenge par shayad sabhi 10 ghar nahi pahuchenge.and anyway, if you love your vehicle, you won’t be able to win.
12) IGNORE that call of nature though the calls are getting louder.that’ll make you want to hurry through the traffic.and then nature might call you someplace you don’t wanna go.if its a great big emergency.stop and finish it.not on the road I mean.but drive with a clear head.
13) Patience.forgive and forget.sigh have to go through the gruelling ordeal again tomorrow morning.better get myself ready to face the’music’.