It was a patient wait ever since Lord "Pulp Fiction" Tarantino announced a double feature with best buddy Lord "Desperado" Rodriguez. Like all prayers mine was answered on Easter, being able to watch the resurrection of a longdead genre of movies.
**Trailer 1: Machete**
Stars Mexican tough-guy Danny Trejo. Here he plays a hitman - a chete(pronounced’shetty’!) who has been doublecrossed by a client. He strikes back with the support of his brother, a catholic padre, who doesn’t shy from showering his enemies with heavenly fire from earthly guns. [Though planned as a fake trailer, it’s being made into a real movie by Rodriguez]
**Feature 1: Planet Terror**
Robert Rodriguez plays the opener, reprising his vampire flick’From Dusk Till Dawn’ on a grandiose scale. Two Brothers and a bunch of stangers turning into heroes fighting against the attack by a large posse of monstrous beings(zombies in PT). Trouble in a military facility, and a greenish zombie-turning gas, spills over into a nearby town. Wray(Freddy Rodriguez) a young rebel with a goatee, his ex-flame go-go dancer Cherry(Rose McGowen), Dakota Block(Marley Shelton) an adulteress doctor with a mean collection of colored injections, a clueless Sheriff and J.T. the owner of BAR B Q the local place for sausages(the best in texas as JT keeps reminding) - team up to fight the flesh-eating zombies.
Of the lot, Freddy Rodriguez entertains with his believable acting in unbelievable circumstances. Rose McGowen is sweet as cherry even without one leg. Her lost leg’s replaced by a machine gun/rocket launcher. It’s a treat to watch her fight zombies with her best foot. Marley Shelton looks great and acts well, as an adultress cuckolding her husband with a girlfriend(hmmmm.) or flinging injections into zombies eye balls. Bruce Willis(uncredited) acts as the Major with a major sickness. Quentin Tarantino makes a guest appearance as a Rapist.
Planet Terror needless to say is high on the gore factor - zombies tearing human beings into pieces, zombies getting blown away by survivors to a dog getting crushed under the truck, for no reason at all but to spray the truck with more blood. It’s equally balanced by the humor that permeates every scene of the movie. The best scene, according to dude, is Tarantinos’ private parts rotting and falling apart while trying to rape Cherry(McGowen). It’s horrific, yet comedic in a rotten way!
**Trailer 2: Werewolf Women of SS **
Hitler’s diabolical plan to create a masterrace of Werewolf-women. Directed by Rob Zombie [director of upcoming’Halloween’ remake]. With special appearance by a well-known Hollywood star. It’s so ridiculous and hoot-worthy dude doubts if it ever will get filmed in reality!
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Trailer 3: Don’t** **Scream**
Another hilarious trailer. Directed by Edgar Wright [ shaun of the dead] takes a hilarious dig at Hollyhood horror cliches. Another possibility of real movie production [ besides underproduction’Machete’]
**Trailer 4: Thanksgiving**
Who thought Turkey-carving could be so howlarious. A spoof on’Halloween’(another American holiday) by director Eli Roth [ Cabin fever, Hostel]. Dude doubts viability of such a movie.
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Feature 2: Death Proof**
Tarantino rear-ends with’Death Proof’ taking over from Rodriguez. Jungle Julia(Sydney Poitier) Radio-jockey at a local station has a ladies day-out with a bunch of girlfriends. While the ladies are discussing such life and death matters such as guys and scoring weed, they aren’t aware they’re being stalked. The stalker happens to be none other than(former) Stuntman Mikey(Kurt Russel), a rough guy with a knife-cut across his face. He follows them in a black-car with a skull painted on the hood, and a deadly duck( not’deadly dutt’) on the bonnet. After claiming the innocent hitchhiker, Pam - Rose McGowen as a ravishing blonde, as his first victim; Mikey rams his car head-on into the ladies car. There’s a thrilling Rashomon of how each character met the maker - one losing a leg, another getting the skull ruptured by flying bonnet and so on.
After recovering our’Icy Hot’ Mikey is on the hunt again. He runs into another group of girls out for a thrill-ride vacation including two stuntwomen. An enterprising Stuntwoman, Zoe(Zoe Bell as herself!), attempts a wind-vibration on the bonnet, while Mikey tries to rear-end the ladies off the road, for good. What ensues is an adrenaline pumping car chase, the best so far, which uses just plain old movie-stunts to thrill(no CGI). It all ends with an off-road kill(whose? watch it!)
Long-winded discussions picturized in a long shot is Tarantino speciality. He used it to amazing effect in’Reservoir Dogs’ - Madonnas virginity and lots of dicks, or the longish discussion between Travolta and Samuel Jackson in’Pulp Fiction’. There are flashes of brilliance. But dude felt the hip-chick discussions were long-drawn and, excuse my blasphemy, pretty darn boring! A litte more action could’ve added more spice. All talk and less action can make even a Tarantino, a dull flick.
Kurt Russel is good(as in his’Escape from NY’ days). Zoe Bell is hot and dashing. Her stunts are breathtaking. Being a career stuntwoman she did it herself. She had doubled for Lucy Lawless in Xena( now we know whose thunder-thighs we saw during those stunts) and for Uma Thurman in’Kill Bill’ series. It’s her first as an actress and dude predicts she has a bright future [ with those great abs.]
**In the Grind**
Movies deliberately aged using sand, dust and God knows what else, to get the grainy feel of grindhouse fare. Some like it for authenticity. Others argue merits of it being used intelligently - masking nudity and violence using spots to get a favorable movie rating. But some’ll get definitely irritated in this age of digital format and IMAX movies. I was at unease at first, until it grew on me. Also of note are the’missing’ reels. Strategically placed at crucial spots in both major segments they create an air of mystery and also a feeling of KLPD [ don’t get it? ask flyingelephant for the meaning]
All in all a double-treat. Could’ve been better(Death proof). But what did I got to lose? Didn’t I watch two movies for the price of one? A true grindhouse experience.