Confused at what I am trying to articulate? I will give another clue….
Mr. Ravi: Mr. Amit, I would like to ask your daughter’s hand for my son, will you please comply?
Mr. Amit: Oh sure, I would be honored.
Mr. Ravi: In that case, let me rush to home and bring the list of things you have to send with your daughter. Me and my wife sat up all night and had finalized a list which we would like you to fulfill and make us all happy.
List contains:
a)Fridge
b)Bed set
c)4 lakh rupees cash
d)Ford Ikon
Ctd…….
Ahh, Dowry!! The heavenly stuff the wish list for a man! If you have dreamt up something, but could never get it or want more of the same thing, just add it to the list, the dowry list. As simple as that! What could one ask for more? And all the more, be confident of getting it. Or else, you know, trouble might crop up between the newly wed couple after marriage, and who knows, the million taunts by the “Man of the house” till the last breath that “You did not get this, you did not get that!”
Now you don’t want that, do you? No, obviously not. Who wants anyone to suffer, better pay whatever is being asked. Does it matter whether the bride’s family can arrange it or not? NO, why should anyone bother about that? There is always some LIC policy or loaner available at an 8% interest return basis. They can manage, they can survive.
That’s dowry for you in India, not only India but almost the entire Asia (including Pakistan). You be a Muslim, you be a Hindu, that’s what happens in almost all families throughout our country (please note that I have mentioned the word ‘almost’, this implies the exclusion of all other groups which, thankfully don’t practice taking dowry). This ONE TIME exchange ritual is a matter of great prestige for many, unfortunately. A marriage without this custom is like an empty marriage, a marriage which has not been fulfilled properly.
With this I imply to those marriages where the groom insists that they don’t want any dowry but “EXPECTS” dowry to be given. Its said unofficially and if the poor bride’s parents fulfill the wish by not giving anything along with the daughter, then the mantra for the rest of the poor girls life starts “If we did not say anything , does that mean your parents could not have sent anything , at least a car? What people there are these days!!!” Look at the thief itself blaming the cop!! There is no exaggeration from my side in this matter.
The 1961 Dowry Prohibition Act in India’s Penal Code, has played a spoilsport to many dowry hungry people, and has put innumerable Saas, Susr and Pati behind bars, but still to the larger effect, the whole thing still goes on unmanned and in a hidden manner. Dowry giving is now termed as “Gifts” from the bride’s parents and who can object to that? According a survey done by a website recently, 20, 000 deaths have been reported as dowry related between the year 1990 and 1993 which is still on the rise.
You maybe wondering why such an old survey is being quoted here, but this were the highest it went since records were being maintained after the Act was brought into force. A lot of hue and cry was created and things started getting better but please no need to get happy.
Go into the Middle East countries, believe it or not, the whole thing is opposite there. The groom has to get everything for the bride! It’s really hard for the guys there because they have to agree to the bride’s wish list and are literally black mailed into fulfilling it or else ‘No Wife’!! I am not saying that it is good, the whole concept in itself is wrong and any person, if he puts his mind to and asks himself calmly that if this whole thing would be stopped, how much better would the world be with no trouble to anyone, and whatever were the prospects of getting the wish list items were to be achieved on ones own ability, the world would be a much happier place.
But it’s easier said than done. One must on one’s own part, start to do something for this matter and so does the saying continues “What’s done is done, no use crying over spilt milk!!”