There are movies that leave you happy, there are ones that leave you sad and there are ones that you make you mad. Jab Tak Hai Jaan (JTHJ) defies any categorization. I can’t recall having seen a 3 hour movie that left my mind so completely vacuous.
Yash Copra (YC) got Anuskha to ride a bullet and give Deepika a run for her money on wearing short pants but it didn’t work for me. He got her to exhibit her flat board abs by jumping from a computer generated rock amidst the Pangong Lake but it didn’t work for me. YC got Katrina to do intimate scenes but it didn’t work for me. He got Katrina to fiddle with cigarettes and introduced us to her "wild side" but it didn’t work for me. He got her to say those heavily accented "Tanx" that make NRIs go weak in their knees, but then I aint no NRI and it didn’t work for me. He tried to hide SRK’s age and sagging skin behind toned muscles but it didn’t work for me.
I dont want to talk about the movie cause frankly I cant think of an appropriate set of words to describe my feelings ! Music is the only saving grace and some of the songs, most notably Challa have a sad and an intensely introspective quality that immediately gets the nod. Guess "Naa visaal hoya kadi na judaai hoi Ishq de qaidi di naa rihaai hoi" quite sums up the message that the film wants to convey.
The biggest problem that I’m now faced with is how do I fill up this review now? The movie is a 3 hour marathon vacuum thats hard to come out of. And when you do manage to come out, you come out with a completely blank mind. And I’ve noticed that I’m not the only one faced with the problem. Majority of reviews (including the extremely positive ones) I have read hardly talk about the movie. Instead they confine to talking about intangibles with all the might that language can lend. So I suppose I’ll stick to the same ruse and talk about a few intangibles.
(1) The movie has an ethereal quality. The kind that vacuums have. It does not lend itself easily to non-SRK fans. It is not a movie that you would take your wife or kids to. Cause its not about romance. About Emraan Hashmi kinda romance that is. Its about SRK kinda romance. So you can’t watch it with friends. Or even all by yourself. To ’get’ the true import of the movie you need to watch it with SRK which I admit might be difficult for most of us. It wouldn’t work for me !
(2) The movie isn’t meant for the Y-generation; it isn’t meant for the X-generation either. Its made for a generation thats yet to be born. Like all SRK movies, this one’s clearly ahead of its times. Therefore it didn’t work for me !
(3) I remember saying how SRK excels in "diseased" roles. You have to appreciate that retrograde amnesia isn’t the kinda disease every Tom Dick and Harry can fall prey to. Flitting in and out of amnesia just like you walk in and out of the loo is a feat that can only be accomplished by SRK. I’ll have to concede he simply can’t be bested when it comes to diseases. Yeah you guessed it right ! This couldn’t have worked for me !
(4) Oh and the kisses. What kisses they were. A fitting lesson to the likes of Emraan Hashmi. If Emraan’s kisses are like Amul chocolate, SRK’s are like organically putrified cheese, an item that can only be appreciated by the gourmet’ :-P And I’m no gourmet. It didn’t work for me !
(5) AB tweeted that this was SRKs best performance since Swades. Well Sir I’m not so sure about that but I’m sure this is your worst deed since organizing the Miss World contest. You have shed your last shred of dignity by making the overtly ’’promotional’’ tweet. Completely uncalled for and therefore didn’t work for me !
(6) And if you thought you went for the movie just to pay homage to YC, think again. A look at the end credits will tell you that Yashji probably just made guest appearances at the sets while the day to day operations were handled by his son. His name was abused to get the cash registers ringing. Sorry that doesn’t work for me !
You, dear reader, by now throughly exasperated, might be tempted to ask "Who are you and why should things work for you ?". Truth is - I’m no one actually. And my opinion isn’t worth tuppence. This is just a way of assuming self importance. Today, USA and India are perhaps the only countries where you can say just about anything on anybody and still expect to get away with it !!