Guys, If u missed on any of KKHH, HAHK, MPK, DDLJ, XYZ, NPP, ETC ETC. Here’s ur chance to top it all!! With the latest 4 letter word from bollywood : k3g !
It has the best of what ’’family drama’’ genre has to offer.. in worst packaging. It’s like cook added all the masaalaa/formula of commercial hindi cinema in a pan but forgot to light the stove.
I suggest better-suited titles for the movie: ’’Hits of golden 90s’’ or ’’Son of Chitrahaar’’ (why? Remember the tag line: it’s all about ur parents, that’s y.) So, even if it doesn’t sell in theatre, it may con some hapless home-sick NRI to pick it up in the video store.
It has EVERYTHING. Every situation ever picturized: cricket match, near antakshari, granny dying, diwali, (about to be) infamous karvaa chauth, ’’jai jagdish hare’’ and allied bhajans, indianisation/patriotism of NRIs, westernization of Indians, jony and sony (son of jony) lever comedy (alas, both Levers can’t crank up a single laugh:) And hold ur breath, National Anthem! (We were the only once who stood up for it, rest were too shocked) and every character u find in family movie for last 10 years. Every daadi, ammi/abba.jaan, ramu.kaka, two baujii.es and one bua.jii, saab.jii, choti/badi/mazhli maal.keen, star counting punj kid, Leela mausi.ki munni.ki hone vaali shaadi ke shauhar.miyaan etc etc (with most notable omission of that ever-smiling Mohneesh behl)
Now-a-days hindi movies come in two favors “With or without Karva chauth”. It’s like star bucks guy asking you ’’With or without cream’’. And here it is! In full glory (and 15 mins of screen time) complete with sieves & chand & nivaalaa & new KC song (not with his sunshine/moonshine band). There’s a suitable twist added to KC called sargii or something on demands of plot.
300 M Rs or any such mind-blowing amount spent on this movie is evident. Raichands live in a fortress so big that it requires a local train to commute within and a helicopter to commute to outside world. Like ’’This train ends at KC Moon-view Terrace’’ The next stop is ’’In-house Shiva Temple’’. Get the idea?
And I thought Hogwarts was big! A mere guesthouse, I say!
The movie is shot over three decades. the first ’’20 yrs ago’’ section is shot in black n white .. With both ABs beard & baal being black. Good technique. Now only if it was followed by equally logical shooting of ’’Dus saal ago’’ section in ’’Eastman color’’ or ’’Fuji color’’ or such. Well, that is shot in Technicolor with soft focus (not to show amit and Jaya’s age.. ) so ends up looking more modern than ’’Present Day’’ and gimme a break .. Nokia communicator, DJs, Star Sports 10 yrs ago!! Spend ur time to spot more such anachronisms. You’d endure 30 more minutes.
More on gaffes. If you are the one who has sadistic pleasures in spotting glitches, you’ll have a field time! Well, some will say, I don’t know a THING about HINDI movies! Come on , I am not the only one, IMDB has a whole section devoted to film goofs. For comic relief (or maybe he’s son of the producer) they have chosen a most un-hritik rolly polly on constant diet of burgers (10 yrs before, remind you) for boy-hritik. And this guy has five fingers on this left arm. Hey hey, I caught you Mr. Karan Johor !!
I thought it was a casting coup of sorts that they found a six-toed goliath toad who grows into his more famous six-finger counter-part. Nope. Five fingers only! Only conclusion is that toad turns into frog-prince over-night and grows an extra finger in this transfiguration exercise gone wrong. No, then I thought this guy ate too many fish-fingers also along with burger.
MBA is in thing in cinema now a day. Gone are the days of US return s/w engineers getting snubbed by bhartiyaa naaries for their true loves. Now is the time of london going MBAs and me and you and a gal named poo.. (That was not for rhyming. a woman is actually called that in film, however degrading it may sound)!
and are there PROM NITES in B-schools (LBS Prom anyone ?!) and I used to think this night is more memorable than your wedding night or something (i have seen American pie) .. here it’s as frequent as karvaa chauth full moon nites (when hindi film makers go lunatic)
Audience are not the only once crying .. there are entire characters in the movie devoted to crying .. Jaya Bacchan , Johara Sehgal do nothing else but cry in this whole movie. guess the took the ’’Kabhi Gham’’ part very seriously upon their shoulders.
I suspect Kajol aped Juhi Chawla in this movie. Well, I thought, Juhi is to Kajol what ape is to man. the why ape an ape ?! go figure ..
if violent shaking spells acting for SRK, he has acted well. shakin’ shahrukh ! all this shaking/trembling /involuntary spasms reminded me of gungan king on submerged planet of Naboo .. booooo !!
Kareena !! a special camera was devised to shoot her .. a camera with built-in bajaj fan that keeps blowing her hair and a flesh-seeker devise that tracks bare skin.
Hritik does what he does best. he smiles, radiates charm and flexes muscles doing ’’paay laagu xyz.jii’’ kinda exercises (it takes 74 muscles to laugh it seems ..)
I dare not find fault for Bacchhan family. They must have poured heart n soul into the role to avenge what Abhisheik did unto them. khaandaan ki ijjat miTTi me and all. all those tears r for real, guys !! Reel follows real life !
OK. What about permutation combination of stars?! Sure the flash-points between AB Vs JB, SRK/HR, HR/AB, SRK/AB are something audience will get a handful of (even with Hritiks’ fingers)
screen-writer have easy time here. Same dialogs are repeated by at least three characters. And of course, each time they are, you replay them again, in it’s original voice for not-so-smart audience. So rest assured, when two characters meet again (after parting ways with a deafening noise of entire orchestra playing without conductor), each will be reciting others dialog to each other (See, I still remember!!, types)
and the so-called power dialogs are utterly nonsensical. Even the ones SO POWERFUL that every of ABs word echoes 5 times all round the theatre .. tum .. tum .. tum .. tum .. tum , mere .. mere.. mere.. mere .. mere , bete .. bete.. bete.. bete .. bete , nahi ..nahi .. nahi .. nahi .. nahi .. aingh .. aingh .. aingh .. aingh .. aingh (or what ever is that funny AB full-stop sound.)
time wasting techniques !!
Music is a saving grace. I am not being bombarded with promos here, still found 2/3 songs very catchy. Comedy is really good. Esp. in tragedy scenes. Light hearted dialogs r spicy. But melodramas are mellow. Kajol, in her Juhi avatar, entertains. And shahrukh ROCKS man!! (Well, only in a manner explained earlier)
all in all .. I think u hate movie so much that u tend to enjoy it. and of course, I believe in dividing khushi and multiplying gham ;)