Science may have developed a great deal, but there are innumerable facets and mysteries of the universe that man hasn’t been able to unravel as yet. One of them is obviously whether we earthlings are alone or is there indeed life on other planets. And although Rakesh Roshan swears by each hair on his bald plate that ’you are not alone’, nothing has been scientifically proved. That is the major reason why the sighting of an unidentified flying object is always hyped and celebrated.
’’Good evening, I am Prannav Roy and we are breaking news here. There have been reports from reliable sources that an unidentified flying object has been sighted over the city of Mumbai. Researchers are still debating and investigating over this rare phenomenon.’’
India, Australia, USA, UK, Spain, Germany ... the list of countries’ scientists who flew down to Mumbai goes on and on. However, after further introspection, the entire episode turned out to be a damp squib. It was revealed that the UFO had a name. The name was Shah Rukh Khan.
’’Shah Rukh, what prompted you to fly all over Mumbai that scientists around the world received a false alarm that it’s a UFO?’’
Srk: ’’Hehehey, UFO to woh Hrithik ke K-k-k-k-k-Koi Mil Gaya mein thi. I was jealous that he got all the plaudits, haan. I object. I-I-I-I object. That’s why I thought that since I am the best (hehe), I must fly in the air on Cloud # 9 like that B-b-b-b-Bryan Ha-ha-hadams does na. Hehehhehe.’’
’’But do you think you should take a risk like this, especially after your back surgery?’’
Srk: ’’Arre, mujhe kya ho sakta hai haan? And anyway, I had to do it today, while there are some of my loyal fans like this nikamma1112 left. After all, K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k ....’’
’’Kiran ... ?’’
Srk: ’’N-n-no. K-k-k-k-k ....’’
’’Kajol or Kareena? Your costars?’’
Srk: ’’Hehehey, yeh kya bakwaas kar rahe ho haan? I was saying ke yeh fans k-k-k-k-k-k-k-kal ho na ho ...’’
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Meanwhile, a white monkey with the voice of a bicycle tyre, is smiling to himself in front of a closed door and seems to be practising.
Dooja ... er ... Pooja ... er ... Kya tum ... er ... Agar tum ... er ... No yaar, come on guys.’’
When he saw me, he said, ’’Hey, Raj, you have to help me, man! I need to talk to Pooja ... and Tina ... and Priya ... and Esha ... er ... I am confused!’’
I asked Saif Ali Khan as to why he liked having so many girlfriends.
O come on yaar, if one turns up ill tomorrow? And if some of them leave me? Girlfriend kal ho na ho ...
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While Shah Rukh and Saif decide to secure their futures by reasoning ’kal ho na ho’, a wierd-looking creature decided to make a film.
’’Kal mera gender ho na ho, that’s why I, Karan Johar, will produce a film today - Kal Ho Na Ho. It’s all about ... you know ... loving your lovings !’’
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Which brings out to the music review of ’Kal Ho Na Ho’. The movie review is for another day because thankfully, the film hasn’t released yet. No, I don’t have anything against SRK or Saif. And I certainly have nothing against Pretty Priety. It’s just that I shudder to think that what can come after the glycerine magnum opus, K3G ....
SEL are the music directors of KHNH. Guys, no need to get excited. I am not talking about Sexy Exciting Ladies. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy of Dil Chahta Hai fame are the ones in question here.
# 1. Kal Ho Na Ho, the title track is up front. Hoping that it’s not a typical Johar-Chopra number (with cries of Aa aa aa aa all the time), I played it. And I realised that Sonu Nigam has more to him than Saathiya and Suraj Hua Maddham. Sublime lyrics by Javed Akhtar get enhanced by the melodious tunes of SEL and brilliant singing by Sonu Nigam. A winner all the way, this one will have the awards racing in!
Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi. Chaav hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop zindagi. Har pal yahan jee bhar jiyo. Jo hai samaa, kal ho na ho.
A tinge of happiness, a pinch of sadness and a dash of introspection into life. Do lyrics get better than that?
Rating: 10/10
However, it is all downhill from here on.
# 2. Maahi Ve, not to be confused with the song from the prickly Kaante, is an ordinary track, with a Punjabi flavour to it. However, Shankar Mahadevan and Udit Narayan’s enthusiastic vocals uplift this song a little.
Rating: 5/10.
# 3. It’s The Time To Disco is a typical SEL track - upbeat, with great singing by Vasundhara and Shaan. Although the track is picturised on the lead trio in a discotheque (like Koi Kahe), it isn’t a patch on Koi Kahe.
Rating: 6/10.
# 4 . Kuch To Hua Hai may sound like an Ekta Kapoor trash-filled melodrama, but in reality, is the second best track of the album. Alka Yagnik, who suddenly has started sounding ten years younger and Shaan sing this track with style and shaan aplenty!
Rating: 7.5/10.
# 5. Kal ho na ho (Sad version). It’s rona dhona time! After all, what else do you expect in a Karan Johar flick? Amidst the setting of a marriage (hopefully Priety and me!), this track is a drag.
Rating: 6.5/10.
# 6. Pretty Woman sounds like a typical Saif track. Shankar Mahadevan sings the guitaring-cum-Punjabi track with aplomb, and the results are quite good.
Rating: 7/10.
# 7. Instrumental music sounds like the closing theme of this flick which is supposed to be a take-off on the all-time classic Anand. Submissive, yet pleasant, this one is a pleasant hear.
Rating: 8/10.
All in all, Kal Ho Na Ho is a decent fare, with a great number, a couple of decent ones, and a couple of wierd ones. And if I am sounding a little too generous, it is because I got the CD free of cost at the film’s music launch!
Srk: ’’Hey-hey-heyheyhey Raj, I object. N-n-n-n-not fair! You did not disclose how much we paid you to praise us, haan!’’
(Talk about publicising your bribes!)
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OVERALL RATING : 3.5/5.
Kal ho na ho, lekin comment zaroor hona chahiye!