I came across a hilarious emailed ``urban legend’’ a few months ago that claimed that Kentucky Fried Chicken changed their name to KFC because they no longer served real chickens. The email went on to detail grotesque genetic experiments that led up to edible creatures that had ’’no beaks, no wings, no feet, ’’ only necks through which hormones and chicken feed could be pumped into it to make the end product ’’edible, all-white meat’’ for mass consumption. I never laughed so hard in my life.
Imagine, KFC serving all white meat!
Seriously though, I investigated that rumor on Snopes.com, home of many unraveled and explained urban legends sent via email as ’’spam’’ to distribution lists and networks by bored employees. It’s false; the Colonel’s chicken is just as homegrown as it has ever been, not to mention just as greasy. But let me tell you, if you buy the Colonel’s chicken by the bucket, don’t expect to get much white meat or many large pieces of chicken. You won’t find anything as nasty as a neckbone in one of the Colonel’s buckets (at least not out here in California, I can’t vouch for other states), but expect to get ’’drumsticked’’ to death.
KFC usually gives me pretty good customer service when I go, even though I wait there slightly longer than I would for a McDonald’s Value Meal or for an order of onion rings at Burger King (and Burger King rings ALWAYS take forever!).
The newer restaurants are better decorated than the old ones, which used to have a kind of seventies, red-and-white gingham check tablecloth chic about them. But now, Colonel Sanders’ bearded visage is splashed across ever wall, painted across windows, and is larger than life from street signs pointing into the parking lots. At least that is the case in America’s KFC restaurant chains.
You don’t typically have much music playing in KFCs. In most of the ones in California, you will find pretty clean tables, but I recall a horrendously filthy one by my old junior college in Marysville, and another one downtown in the same city that always seemed to have exploding napkin holders and straw wrappers in the front lobby, rancid-smelling bathrooms, and that were redolent with odors of old grease from the fryers that needed changing. I’ve noticed more consistency in terms of cleanliness in Chick Filet restaurants in states like Los Angeles and Pennsylvania and Virginia.
KFC makes pretty tasty chicken provided that you actually like yours fried. I prefer the Original Recipe chicken better than the Extra Crispy; I don’t like the enormous hunks of breaded crackling on the Extra Crispy, all you get is a mouthful of breading with each bite, it overwhelms the chicken. The KFC Chicken Pot Pie is also delicious; the crust is flaky, the gravy isn’t too salty, the chunks of chicken breast are generous and tender, and there aren’t too many peas. However, the pies are usually scorching hot, let them sit about ten minutes before you dip your fork into it.
The Popcorn Chicken is a waste of your time; I tried it back in the days when rapper MC Hammer was pitching it with his background dancers that had the huge fade haircuts and baggy pants. It was awful then, it is awful now. My roommate in college said her mother was kosher, and that the Popcorn Chicken was just ’’those little crunchy things that they drain out of the fryer when they clean it.’’ Her mom wouldn’t let her eat them. My roommate was 20! The Popcorn Chicken was certainly bite-sized, like the ad says, but it was also incredibly SALTY and GREASY.
A few of the other ’’trendy’’ offerings at KFC include the Honey Barbecue Wings (very sweet, very sticky, very satisfying, except you don’t get enough of them), and the Tender Roast recipe chicken. The Tender Roast chicken is supposedly ’’rotisseried’’ instead of fried, but I have never ordered that chicken inside the restaurant, I have only bought it through the drive-thru window. It is relatively juicy, but occasionally I have had it when it was too dry.
The old Kentucky Fried Chicken used to tout that the Colonel’s ’’secret recipe’’ had eleven herbs and spices. I can still only name about five that I can discern (salt, paprika, onion powder, cayenne pepper, and perhaps a touch of garlic salt). The chicken tastes almost as good as what a devoted cook could make at home, but the side dishes might fall short of the mark. I hate KFC mashed potatoes, which are too whipped and mushy, but the accompanying gravy is pretty good. They stopped making the corn muffins, which used to be delicious. The buttermilk biscuits taste like they are using an inferior food supplier for their breads now, they are almost always hard around the edges, even when they are fresh. My husband and I drown those in honey and melted butter when we get them as part of a value meal. The barbecued beans with bacon are tasty, but you can only eat so much of them. They are sweet and slightly tangy. Don’t waste your money on KFC’s drinks; their soda is overpriced. Buy some at 7-11, AM/PM, or a Cheaper store on the way home instead.