Is it a bird? Is it a plane? (No, it’s definitely not JONTY RHODES)
Is it a pig? Is it a monkey?
No, it’s JADOO!
Welcome to the world of Aliens, shrieking mothers, retarded grownups, bullying hunks, prudish teachers, chow chweet kids, crazy collectors, stupid scientists....Yes, yes.. All under one cinema hall at one time!
Welcome to KOI MIL GAYA!
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Twas a fine Saturday afternoon in B’lore, sunny with no prospects of rain - just the right time to chill out watching a movie. I tried calling up a lot of my friends to accompany me to Joggers Park but none would have it..To cut a long story
short, I finally landed up with my cousins at KOI MIL GAYA. Since a lot of ppl had warned me abt wot to expect, I didn’t quite have my pencil ready to rip the film apart.
The film:
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Scientist discovers extra terrestrial life - Superiors disbelieve him - Scientist dies in a road accident - wife survives but gives birth to a ’’physically developed mentally challenged’’ BOY (aint I politically right ?) - ’’Boy’’ is bullied by all n sundry except his kid friends - ’’Boy’’ wants to make it big like papa - Enter ’’out of the world’’ dame - ’’Boy’’ n his kid friends tease the dame - Dame gets even thanks to pea brained hunk and his cronies - Dame then comes to know ’’the truth’’ - becomes ’’Boy’’’s girlfriend - ’’Boy’’ learns computers to become like his papa - manages to communicate to ’’life in the stars’’ - Aliens land up in his town - one ’’specimen’’ is left behind accidentally - ’’Boy’’ protects his bosom buddy Alien from the law and aids in the Alien returning back to where he/she/it belongs - The Alien repays the debt by making a MAN out of him - ’’Boy’’ gets dame - RIP !
Scientist - Rakesh Roshan
Wife - Rekha
’’Boy’’ - Hritik Roshan
Dame - Preity Zinta
Alien - Jadoo
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Lessons learnt in the order in which they appear in the movie.
DUMB
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I learnt about the human brain - I also learnt how to read the past and predict the future from an X-ray.
I learnt how easy it is to learn to play the keyboard.. All you need to do is press 4 keys in a certain order.. B , C , E and F and lo , u bet music ! Add to this a few chants of OM and voila, the keyboard can also double up as a communication
device to send signals to outer space.
I learnt that all head scientists have to be cynical, bearded and draped in long coats.
I learnt beauty n brains can never mix - bimbettes are just supposed to look drop dead gorgeous - to get conned by kids is a rule, grey matter between the ears is incidental and not be used.
Since I had had enough learning in the first 45 mts , I just took a short stroll outside - Though I had left my brains back at home before coming to the hall, my IQ was fast dipping .. I called up my stock broker and asked him to BUY - After all , my IQ was now -10 and I thot it couldn’t go lower.
DUMBER
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I learnt school has become easier in 2003 since the toughest problems kids solve in Std 6 is ( x + 2y = ? given x and y )
I learnt that its the prerogative of the collector of a town to declare regional holidays for any occasion that fancies him - be it the first time his new born son didn’t wet his nappies all night or East Bengal beat Mohun Bagan 10-0
I learnt that Newton was all wrong abt gravity and basketball was always to be played like QUIDDITCH on air.
Time to take another stroll. The snacks vendor again tried to sell me some popcorn.. I refused him again. I called up my broker and asked him to BUY, BUY like crazy.. By now my IQ had dipped to -40 and the future couldn’t get worse.
DUMBERER
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I learnt that Lingua Franca is outdated.. Men from Mars, Women from Venus and Jadoo from the stars understand only Hindi.
I learnt that cops could get away with being nincompoops, collectors had to dim witted and scientists had to appear larger than life.
I learnt so much more but then if I were to write them all , I would lose out on a few ideas for my biography.
But ladies and gentlemen, before u come to any wrong conclusions lemme set the record straight. All this does NOT mean that I did not enjoy the movie. In fact , I had a ball !I laughed with my cousins whenever the kids came on screen, cried when Hritik got bullied, yelped with joy when he got even and sympathized with JADOO’s plight !
I don’t want to comment much about the direction. But yes, mentions have to be made about the performances.
Hritik Roshan: I have been a big fan of HRITIK ever since KNPH and was just biding my time hoping he would get his act together. In KMG, HRITIK has let his acting do all the talking and all his critics (and there are loads of them here at MS) have been made to eat humble pie. Here is an actor with loads of potential who is very much a director’s man! If there is one reason to watch KMG over and over again, its HRITIK ROSHAN. He is simply wonderful be it emoting , dancing or fighting ! Its his show all the way !
Preity Zinta: Here’s one lady who even when wearing some of the skimpiest dresses I have seen on screen doesn’t look vulgar ! She’s a whiff of fresh air and lights up every frame she appears. Move over Aishwaryas, Celinas, Priyankas and Laras..Gimme Pretty Preity any day !!
Rekha: She might look good at her age but c’mon, these stereotyped mother roles sicken me !
Johnny ’’Lost his nuts’’ Lever: Grates on our ears but whats new ! Can we all pool in some money for his VRS ?
Mukesh Rishi: Why on earth does such a fine actor take on such a stupid role ?
The rest of the cast: Ordinary
Songs are wonderfully picturised, superbly choreographed and reasonably well placed. Prem, yes, even I liked the HAILA HAILA song :-)
Special effects are sick, the spaceship lacks imagination and the alien is horrendous. (Yellow jacket, sheesh )
To mention this movie in the same breath as Forrest Gump and ET would be grave injustice to those 2 classics. To call this movie a sci-fi would be a joke.. To call it a comedy would be an insult to the likes of Jaane Bhi, Andaaz Apna ^2 etc.. To slot it as a romance is impossible. It’s a perfect ’’aviyal’’ (Dont know its equivalent in Hindi)
It’s BOLLYWOOD AT ITS BEST ! Just go have a blast !
ps: Today I sold all my stock and needless to say made a lot of money. My broker thinks I am a genius! If only, ppl made more movies like KMG.. I can have my fun and make money too !