Koi Mil Gaya

Oh! What’s happening to me?

These will be (surely) the lines hummed by audience when they come out of the show. Why am I so sure? Oh! Friend. One can always be sure in three phases of life:

1) When one goes to Marry, one is always sure of sounds of shears between bride & groom.(either later or earlier in life. In most cases, it starts as soon as reception party is over)

2) When a new soap starts on your channel, And at the end of the numbers you see a Kitsch name moving along as E(k)ta Kapoor.One is sure how the serial would float.(You should know by now why I use the term float)

3) When you see a mega star doing a great job, supported by an utter scraggy, dunce script and by the poorest direction one can ever find. You are very sure that the lines in the first stanza stand very true.

Rakesh Roshan. decided to extract themes from various inspirational Hollywood Oscar winning films. Rakesh Roshan had main two tasks to perform:

1) Decide the main theme of the movie.

2) Decide as to what Roshan Jr. (Hritik) should act like.

He found his answers lying in two fantabulous Hollywood productions. The answer for his first quest was found in the Hollywood movieExtra-Terrestrial. He didn’t have to go too far to search the answer for his second dilemma. Answer was found in the Oscar winning Forrest Gump.

Once asked by the press reporter in relation to the story of KMG, Roshan Sr. remarked, ’’ It’s not ET. It’s not Forrest Gump either.’’

People didn’t believe him that time. But now after bearing the torture of the movie, I can loudly announce that KMG is definitely not ET or FG.

For making movies like ET or FG, one needs vision & skilled direction. Roshan Sr. can only imagine of being remotely what the director of ET/FG had to offer.

Roshan Sr. could not take the hype that he was subjected to after his hit Kaho Na Pyaar Hain. Roshan Sr. stood true to his self-resolution of spewing the fire of unbearable nonsense in the form of Koyla, Karobaar, Karan Arjun and now another ’k’ in the series with Koi Mil Gaya.

Yeah. We shall keep talking about Roshan Sr. as far as the rant is continued. For a moment, let’s see what (un )expectedly swivelled in the right direction for Roshan Sr.

Roshan Jr.(Hritik) had been the main attraction of the movie. As if You expected that someone else would be & that too counting on the fact that Roshan Sr. was making the movie. Hritik had no trouble enacting Forrest Gump. He played brilliantly the role of a under-developed mentally retarded boy. His accent was very powerful and kudos to him for doing that. For more details but with more excitation & satisfaction, watch Forrest Gump for about first 30 minutes. Why waste your precious time watching the cocktail movie KMG ? Atleast I wouldn’t, had someone suggested a true picture of KMG.

Hritik did his part of jhatkas & matakas as well as he was expected to do. Now! Now! Full sympathies for hritik. What can one possibly do if the songs were recorded as if they were meant to be picturised on Mithun Chakraborty ? What can Hritik possibly think of doing when his music director uncle Rajesh Roshan made a frappe(barf ka gola) of the music score? A frappe so rotten, so stale & so very typical that one can find at the eateries outside any Municipal School Compound where flies fly over the food as if their kin’s dead body was being cremated.

As if this wasn’t all. Rajesh Roshan also indulged heavily into the composition of background score. For God’s Sake…Mr. Rakesh Roshan, why couldn’t you hire some professional and successful background music composer in the likes of Aadesh srivastav/Amar Mohile/Salim merchant ? As if you expected your brother to deliver something unnatural, very different, very original background score.

Oh God. Yeah! The question arising in your mind is very natural. You ask, ’’ Inspite of all such atrocities, what made you stick on our seat for 3 hours?’’ Well. Pal! May be Roshan Sr. Had some sort of trepidation. Good that this time he had the vivacious, the svelte lulu Preity Zinta.

Preity Zinta was looking pulchritudinous. She was the only beautiful thing in the entire movie. She acted well within her share of the film. The dressing was absolutely fab. She had the costumes that were well situated and at ease for her as well as for the audience.

Rekha was looking like an old banyan tree that was watered for 24 hours and dried under the sun. Her acting was like a moist, torn & tattered tissue paper. I didn’t understand as to why she was there? Instead Roshan Sr. Could have employed Esha Deol for the role for she doesn’t even need the make-up or hair design.

Apart from Hritik, the best acting award for the film goes to the young lad who played the role of a sardar teenager. He was very professional indeed and a joy to watch.

Johnny Lever was there as an extra. He looked like the 12th man in the cricket team who serves drinks & water to the final 11 players. He didn’t have great dialogues to shout. In case you are wondering, he doesn’t play either a Bengali or a Punjabi character. For a change he plays a sindhi constable with terrible accent & easily forgettable acting.

The story was cock tailed, yet went off the path constantly. No definite relations ever existed between the shots. Editing was fair. Screenplay was ok. Editing was crisp but wasn’t helpful at all to constrict the regorging of recycled waste. Only two songs were bearable. Songs were not needed at many instances but most certainly were there for oblivion. Characterization were very poor(except Hritik & Preity)

My grey cells went numb when they saw Prem Chopra(playing a city collector) indulging into the solving of forensic science problem. Now! would you expect in your wildest imaginations that a local city collector & a police cop would be collecting evidence of UFO when we have all the space research organizations waiting to do the same work!

In short, a typical monotonous hindi movie that made me feel guilty as to why I’d watch it. I extend my sincere apologies to Hritik in case he reads this review. But if You have to watch it anyways, watch it for hritik & his presence on screen.

Dear Hritik, I know one can never control an old dimwit father and a mad elephant. I have all the sympathies with you. May HE bestow the blessings of wisdom in your father and as far as you are concerned Better Luck next time!