We have very different personalities and interests in my family too. I feel like they don’t know me at all, but I’d say I know them rather well. Even though their interests are very different from mine, I try to show interest in theirs, but they’ve never shown much interest in mine. They only come to me when they need to know something or need help understanding something that they know I’m good at or know a lot about. That’s the only times they ever even mention my interests and if I mention my interests they usually change the subject or start talking amongst themselves about something else(and I don’t talk excessively about my interests like some aspies do, so it’s not that they’ve heard it all before or want to avoid a long monologue).
I feel like I can’t talk to them about serious things either. Whenever I’ve tried to do that in the past I’ve had bad experiences. If it’s about my health or disabilities they just brush it off or tell me it’s all in my head and don’t want to hear about it, and then get all surprised about me being hospitalized or they get embarrassed when somebody mentions something I’ve been diagnosed with and they didn’t know that I had it because they didn’t listen when I told them. If it’s about major life decisions like getting married, buying a house, moving abroad, which major to choose at university etc., they try to control me and pressure me into doing what they want me to do rather than what I want to do or believe is best for me. If it’s about problems or issues they get judgemental or assume I don’t know how to deal with it and lecture me about it rather than just listen and be supportive.
As a result, there are many things that are important to me that I feel like I can’t talk to them about. I’ve had to get used to never being listened to and being ignored all the time, and then people wonder why I don’t talk much.