My girl was in india. I was in london for an office assignment. but this day was special . it was her birthday. I sent her a pic of the most beautiful red rose, and wrote the bestest sweetest words I could possibly write. she thanked me and I had played my part. I had a chat with her first thing in the morning, , , and she sounded so sullen. she was obviously having a bad day at work. I knew the best way to cheer her up would be to surprise her with lots of yellow happiness flowers and ferrero rocher chocolates. what a surprise it would be, I thought! she would be in her office, and she’ll be so happy! so I do a google search, pick up a sponsored search, and log onto https://mumbaionlineflorist.com . I see links flashing everywhere that says "OFFERS bEING ACCEPTED FOR TODAY!!" CLICK HERE". And knowing full well that it might be a con job, I still fall for it, , whats a thousand bucks even if they go wasted, for someone I love with all my heart? I place the order, and wait. I called her again in the afternoon, and to remind you that london’s afternoon = mumbai’s evening, so here I am coo-cooing with her up again in the afternoon, , and suddenly she receives the ’unknown call’, so I tell her to take it, knowing well it must be the florist. I almost chew up my coffee cup thinking what amazing luck.she would be so happy and surprised, for me finally being so thoughtful, and caring. she would finally think I could keep her happy all her life, like I had written in the greeting. finally, , she would think, I am not all words and no action..finally she’ll see how my heart beats for her every second. but it was not to be. it was the florist on the other side of the three way call alright, but the florist tells her that there are no delivery boys to deliver the flowers. not knowing what to do, she tells the florist to hold on, and asks me if I had sent flowers?
I am almost hysterical at this awesome stroke of luck...i yell YES! I love ya! and she is like...err, , its the florist on the other side saying she cant deliver the flowers coz its too late. and I am like, "what the f?" shouldnt I be asked if its okay to deliver the flowers tomorrow?whats going on here? so I tell my girl to tell the florist to talk to me. she thinks a bit, and puts the florist on. Now this is what is happening: me, my only love, and the florist is on line in a conference call . here’s the conversation. please understand that this is a three way call, so everybody can hear everybody else
florist: hello
divine beauty : hello
silli guy :hi
f: hi
db: sg is on the line. he’s the one who ordered the flowers, please talk to him
f: hi
sg: hi
f: hello
sg: fck hie, can you please deliver the flowers today please?
f: no , its late we get orders from culcutta.
sg: but please ma’m, understand its her birthday, I am in london, I cant personally give it to her.
f: sorry if you want ot complain please complain to them.
sg: ohh, , , please is there no other way?
f: no. and tomorrow, db wont be in office, so we cant send them tomorrow as well.
sg: ohh, , , mebbe at her home then, can you send it to her home?
f: okay gimme the address
sg: err< in the bs of a situation I am in, I forget db’s address. I tell her to give it"
db: err, , , home? it would be fine in the office
f: give your home address na
db: ok take it and end it
sg:
f: how to get their from station?
sg:
db: gives directions
f: okay
db: kya yar, you cant even send me some flowers on time.
sg: but i, I thought
db: you are always just thinking. did you have to be so careless? Couldn’t you have booked them a day earlier? issey acha bhejta hi nahi. I have had it with you.
sg: *so here I am, baffled, f’ed up, thinking whats the score here, whats next? I try to call my love again, she doesnt care to take the call. I shoot up a mail to the darned florist asking in all kinds of swear words , demanding an explanation for this shabby service, and the reason for the florist calling her up, spoiling the surprise, and eventually leading to my break up... the florist replies within an hour, " its written in the terms and conditions that there will be no guarantee for delivery happening same day for orders placed after 4. your order was placed at 4.21 . and I am forwarding your mail to the concerned authorities for using unprofessional language"
i am on the verge of crying. now I am a guy you know, and guys don’t cry, but hayyyy, , , this is not fair! I recvd a confirmation of order , and it said same day delivery. and even if it were the next day, for weird reasons, she should have asked me if its okay right? and even if she didn’t, she had the nerves to ask my love? and even if I pardon the sloppy service, she wants to threaten me about my use of language? she explains the terms to me? hadn’t I written that I had just had a break-up?
anyway, I had to write all this, a tearshed perhaps, for these buggers are never gonna improve. india will never improve, and their chalta hai attitude will remain for ever. they will never know what service really means. had this happened to the darned florist, I wish with all my heart it does, she would have known how it feels to be dumped.
my words of advice?: try mumbaionlineflorist on your enemies, foes and ones you dont give a horses sht about. mumbai online florist. what a name! do they even know what flowers mean? they are not just flowers, sirs, they are not just a formality....they are feelings for gods sake! have requested them to atleast write in a "sorry" instead of the "happy birthday my love" message. if they dont, , and I dont expect them to do that, well, they’ll end up hurting her even more. thank you mumbai online florist. you truly sck.