I believe, every indian with access to internet is on orkut.Like DD, cable was a revolution back in time, orkut is the new age revolution.I have found so many lost friends & I am really addicted to this site.But recently I came across a very disturbing trend, & I am still coming in terms with it.Eventhough I am in late twenties, I found that I am already a generation away, from my 19yr old cousin.
Orkut has 2 parallel social networking circles, one that is personal & another virtual.Personal profiles usually deals with real people, with the aim of personal networking & being in touch with real people we know.Another one being virtual profiles, dealing with unknown people developing virtual relationship, & is more or less a dark shady fantasy world, mostly dealing with sex & dating.I acknowledge the fact that I do have multiple profiles, and have had share of my virtual fun like fake dating etc, but it was more for timepass fun than actually getting absorbed into it & influence my personal life.I do agree, I did ocne meet a girl from orkut, but it was almost after 2 months of cautious virtual dating & really getting to know each other quite well.
The problem starts when one cant distinguish the boundary between real and virtual world.This is usually the case with teens in the age range of 15-20.I many a times am surprised to see many teens flaunting their deepest personal information like mobile number, house address & so on.We may all be knowing the tragedies like Adnan Patrawala in Mumbai & many other cases involving social networking.
I recently came across a virtual profile of a 18yr old guy, solicting for sex, which is not unusual on orkut, but there was some personal info on the profile that really caught my eye.Infact the profile was so casually written, that it didnt take me long to identify it was none other than my kid cousin.I created a fake profile & flirted with him for couple of days.What surprised me was, the casual manner in which he flirted around divulging his deepest personal info with no hesitation, & it seemed so routine to him, he never bothered much to fact check about the other person, whom he was supposed to meet.Seems like he has almost lost that inhibition of fear of unkown.In a matter of days, he was ready to meet me at some cafe & if "everything went right"[read further to know what it means], he was all ready for the act.
Other startling candid confessions from the chat & after I confronted him:
a)He had no count of the number of girls he had met from orkut & it has spanned many neighboring cities & sometimes even states.
b)This orkut dating was very common among his peers(both boys & girls)in college & swapping friends was very common.I infact know most of his peers & was surprised to see their(virtual)orkut profiles.
c)many a times, college name & class was enough identification for them to meet or should I say, hook up.
d)And now for the meaning of "everything went right":They usually preferred dating from a set list of colleges, others(like me) would be screened/interviewed beforeproceeding further.And the meeting would usually occur in some mall or a crowded hangout to avoid trouble.
e)Other info, I am just too embrassed to reveal.
I am not too worried about sex or dating, but I am concerned about multiple partners, the safe-sex practices & if not, its implicationslike STD’s, HIV etc & personal dangers involved trusting total strangers.My first furious reaction was to reveal all this to his parents, but after a little thought, I found it would be of little use, as you just cant police teens in a big cities & as a rebellious kid myself, would always find ways to work around things .It would be better if I know, where & whom my cousin is meeting than forcing him to do things behind my back.I dont think this has anything to do with parenting, as my cousin has grown up in the same environment as me under the same roof & his parents are as traditional & orthodox as one could get .Neither this is spoilt brat theory with BMW’s, as his family is quite middle class(ok, upper middle class).Also there is nothing wrong with his academics & he is doing & done quite well.
Initially I thought this was an errant behviour concerning him alone, but after he showed the orkut profile’s & stories of all his peers, I was literally stunned .Almost his entire class is on orkut & everybody knows the virtual profiles of others.(It was only virtual for me & you).His orkut world is parallely different from my orkut world.I tend to beleive this more to be a generational thing, as I myself found that most peers of his age whom I knew, had similar orkut outings.I am practically stunned in last few days the impact of orkut on present day teens in india.I dont believe in policing orkut, as, if not for orkut, there would be facebook or some other medium.If it comes as a shock to some 25+ old bachelor guy like me who practically live on the net, i am sure most of the today’s parents are clueles about their kids social life.Infact I dont even know the solution for this and totally confused, all the advice I gave my cousin was to think about his family & parents if any of his irresponsible acts goes awfully wrong.