Jab main chhota bachcha tha, badi shararat karta tha. Meri chori pakdi jaati... !
FLASHBACK 1995.
Me only 8 years old that time. Me loving melody (available in chocolate and coconut flavour). Me always fighting with friends for it. Me getting bashed up by guys having bigger and superior muscles than me. But... me getting only two or three melody, and the remaining four shared by seven persons. Me very happy at that!
Once upon a time, Me had a bet with an enemy of mine. Just 2 marks. That’s right! Was in Class I then. Me wanted to beat my enemy by getting atleast two marks more than him in the exam. If he got two more, me duped! Result: Me got eight marks more than him, which made him lose the bet, and part with nine melody of his! Hurray!
Those days, melody costing 50p. Both, for chocolate and coconut. Pata hai, whenever myself used to get a jhaar from parents for eating lots of melodies (my teeth were spoiled as a result), me used to give them one melody and... gussa gayab!
FLASHBACK 2000.
Me now a grown-up kid. In Class VI now. Can’t openly fight for melody. Had to behave decently, and not like a small kid. Still I eating lots of melodies and dairy milks. Times changed. Melody now costing Re.1. Parents gave no money to buy melody, so took out money from dad’s pocket to buy!
Once, me watching Shakti Kapoor on T.V. Film name Raja Babu! Shakti behaving like mental kid. Singing ’Aaaaoooo’. Much before, Shakti also saying - Main to chhota sa, nanha sa, bachcha hoon. Film Jamai Raja. All Rajas only. Me thought to myself. Kapoor can be a bachcha at his age, so why can’t I? Me defied my parents, and re-started my melody-eating habit!
Much to their dismay, now I never bought one or two, but bought atleast 9-10 of them whenever I did! Kya karen, control hi nahi hota!
FLASHBACK APRIL 2005.
Me a really matured guy now. Promoted to Cass XII. Senior-most class! Playing Ludo, cross and knots, eating 1 rupee chocolates, playing with teddy bears, etc., all considered a child habit now. Being a good boy, I had a secret, which no one seemed to know! But I divulge it to you in this mental state of mine - I secretly had atleast 15 melodies at a go many a times!
Once so happened that a close friend spotted me going so, khule aam. He promised me that he would divulge the information to parents, and complain them about it. I warned him that I would be kutty with him if he did so, but who cared? He did what he wanted to! And I was now not given a single rupee as pocket money (not a single rupee coz a single rupee could buy me my melody)
Result?
I lost my mind, and became mentally unsound. Parents took me to doctor. Doctor said that my mind had now become of that of an eight-year old! I was, however, retained in my class, coz my academic mind was not affected by all this! Only my academic mind, I tell you. No other mind. You see, I have many minds.
Further result?
I started doing all nonsensical things and troubling people. I also joined MouthShut.com to trouble members with my reviews (in the namesake of it)!
It’s magic!
Once while sleeping, I could hear some faint sound somewhere. I scared it could be some bhoot, or who knows, Urmila Matondkar herself! Then I saw a strange face behind the tree in front of my house. I remembered the problems the tree caused in the movie Vaastu Shastra, so the next day, I got it cut!
That very night, the sound again appeared, and so did the strange face. I threw stones at him, and he ran away! The next morning, I switched on my television. They informed that an alien by the name Jadoo had escaped his planet in search of his long-lost friend Rohit. Alien went to Mumbai to look for him, but had to return due to the heavy rain. He didn’t know how to swim. So he landed in Kolkata!
Suddenly my mind tinkered. The face I had been seeing the two nights didn’t appear to be that of a human being. The ones whom I suspected to be Urmila could have been Jadoo! I anxiously waited that night. Nothing happened! I went outside my house to find him. No one present! I lay awake till four in the morning.
Enough was more than enough, I decided. I quickly went up to my music player and voila...
Aaj dharti se gagan ka, phoolon se chaman ka, ghataaon se pawan ka ho raha milan...
Jadoooo! Jaadooo! Jaaddoooo.. Jadoooooooo!
The very moment, as I turned back, I saw Jadoo standing right out there, remembering Rohit, tears in his eyes! He told me in stupid Hindi that he was tired searching for Rohit! I told him also, about my mental condition. He happy. Promised to cure me fully, and then all three of us (He, me and Rohit) would go to Mars and have as many melodies as possible!
But what was so special about melody, he asked?
’’Aailaa. Itna bhi nahin jaante. Hen hen. Melody mein hai woh khaas baat. Manufactured by Parle Company, Melody hai chocolaty. India’s first double layered chocolate costing Re.1. It had a double symphony of chocolate in the inside, and caramel on the outside. Not so healthy, as continuous consumption, besides decreasing marginal utility, would also affect the teeth.
Jadoo very happy. He laughing. He had no teeth, so could have many-many melodies. Me somewhat jealous, but continued with my melody story.
Haan. Melody now available in many different flavours - Chocolate, Cocunut, stwarberry and Mango. And one more. Black current. All for the same price. Neatly wrapped in a wrapper, it was a visual treat for the eyes from the outside, and for the mouth from inside! No one can eat just one. Such is it!
Jadoo then asked me to cease further explanations, and that he had got the full idea of what it is all about. He said that even rohit once told him about this. he and his group of friends had it, but never gave him. Anyways, he was a loyal buddy, and would not retaliate now. We then went to Mumbai in search of Rohit!
Rohit was now a matured man, by the powers given to him by Jadoo. He had heard about the return of Jadoo, and was anxiously awaiting him. Jadoo saw Rohit in an MNC, and soon wanted to meet him. I said that NASA was behind him, so it would be better if I tell him about it. Jadoo said ok. I went and informed Rohit about him. He happily came to him, and they cried for one hour.
I reminded Jadoo of the promise made me. He also told Rohit. That very night, at 2AM, when the Parle Factory had closed down, Jadoo, using his jadoo, uprooted the entire plant manufacturing melodies, and called a spaceship. We all then went up to Mars.
BACK TO THE PRESENT!
Few days after we left to Mars, all the stock of our melodies ran out. I also missing home, and melodies too. Jadoo and Rohit happy with each other’s company. They sent me back Earth to stay with family and enjoy melodies.
I recovering my state of mind, though not fully recovered as yet, which you may have guessed by this review. If the need be, I call Jadoo again.
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Jadoo also asked me to share my experience with all you people, and promised lots of melodies on his birthday to all those members who leave behind a comment. So what are you waiting for?
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© Aliasgar Poonawala, 2005