* Issued in public interest
A few newspaper headlines making headlines throughout the country-
[1] Kucch Mil Gaya - A recent study by CSE on 10 popular softdrink brands claimed ’kucch mil gaya’ starring Insectides and pesticides .Issuing it’s press release CSE said ’ye kya milate ho yaar softdrink mein , bachee ke jaan loge kya?’.
[2]Insaf ’coke’ karega - The cola major vehemently denied this news report & claimed that they cannot afford(money-wise) to mix pesti-insecti/cides in the softdrinks .Though they refused to divulge the details of what they can ’afford’ highly placed sources say that kerosene is a much better and affordable option.
[3] Hum sath sath hain - The whole issue helped bring the two arch rivals together to fight the common enemy .pepsi-coke bhai-bhai .
[4] Digen Verma - And anyways , the other softdrink major claimed , when Digen can drink this very softdrink without making any complains why the fuss ?
[5] ISI Hand ? - The opposition went berserk .’ye aache baat nahi hai’ the PM remarked .ISI hand cannot be ruled out . The govt is contemplating setting a JPC or a high level fact-finding commission
or both to look into the matter .
[6] Salman meets Vivek - Salman made a courtsey call to ’tuute taang Vivek’ and presented him a bucket full of colddrink and asked ’kya aap mein hai dum?’.
[7] New findings - The agricultural inst of Matungaa claimed that these softdrinks could work wonders for you provided you are a PLANT , are you one ?
[8] New Improved Coke-Pepsi - Pepsi & Coke formally launched their new product and issued an ad in public interest.The new softdrink is approved by The Indian Dental Association ( since the Indian Medical association refused to play ball and they had to get an approval from somewhere).
[9] Letter to the editor - A penitent reader wrote this following letter to a daily .’dear sir, if this is what we are drinkin let us go for Devdaas’ choice .
[10] Aander ki baat - Secretly the cola majors do admit that ’they do’. what to do ’sab ganda hai per dhanda hai ye’ they shrug.
[11] More to come - First it was packed Mineral water and now softdrinks . Be assured there’s more to come .