The titular part is a concocted entity from the shivers I still get from my recent holocaust whilst travelling or trying to travel vide Shivneri the Volvo bus service for the so called middle class or now upper middle class with the AC full blast and the curtains torn
I guess the operators do not have the full criticality or the respect for the word Shivneri or its originI booked two tickets in advance , a day prior for the 7.30 morning bus and 4.00 pm evening bus from PuneIt all looked rosy and the birds chirped musically in their tree havens or do we spell it heavens- anyway
I went to the small window in the morning enquiring about the 7.30 bus and got a good reply that she had arrived and I actually turned green with envy looking at her..or was the bus colour green..ok let us not be too ecofriendly
I went and sat in my window seat as snug as a bug in a rug, in that bus Regn no ending with 9230 or 9320 and so my fellow passengers with their 0.1 litres some branded mineral water and a super duper newspaper and suddenly it dawned on me or upon me that I had paid INR 450 for this trip and so rightfully got my share of water and the news for the day
The bus driver came on time and the bus started late and she really chugged and stopped for no reason or rhyme -like a song out of time at a particular place and some more victims boarded her
We once again set off and just as we were approaching Panvel , she showed her real mood and misfired and sputtered to a grand halt;smack in the middle of nowhere on the highway and yes we were literally in the way
The bus driver poor soul had driven this charming lady for donkey’s years and now she was as good as donkey’s ears to us and him
Some accelerator belt had snapped apparently and this investigation somewhat soothed our souls although it was no resolution for any of the passenegers
The bus driver bless his good soul stopped another Shivneri on the way and reassuredly told us to hop on this bandwagon
We entered the bus all in tow and in one row and horrors of horrors there was a "musical chair" game on and me and three of my colleagues were left standed I mean stranded with the bar on top
the shoulder of a sitting human being next to us and bus floor beneath
We actually stood transfixed and made the journey to the Food Mall in the interval stop
I energised myself with a Vada Pav or a VP and a chai or tea
And the UNION OF STANDING PASSENGERS [USP] met at a secret rendezvous under the blazing sun and recounted our woes and cursed our fate
Probably we shared the same sun signs
We asked another Shivneri that had parked itself and the bus driver bless his accursed soul told us that the bus was full and I am a fool and we are fools
Time was fleeting and we asked a semi luxury guy to put us on his bus on our tickets and he suddenly started going by the book and thought us to be mobile ATMs and we coughed up 100 rupees each and reached Pune at 12.00 pm---Phew!
7.30 to 12.00 = 4 hours and 30 minutes of absolute mayhem, sheer desperation, non cooperating Shivneri Buses and their owners
I pity these big machined monsters which ply on a daily basis to and fro and do not get proper servicing prior to a journey
I came back in the evening and blasted the first person in uniform at Dadar and he gave me a wry smile and said something in code language that said something "TO err is human and I am divine!