Unless you are a dyed-in-the-wool Gujju who might be excused for thinking that this movie is all about the horrors of in-flight refreshments, the title is completely self-explainatory: hundreds of poisonous snakes let loose on an airborne plane much to the terror of the passengers, most of whom are nice people like us. This macabre plan is executed by a sadistic Chinese-American villain, who after having committed a gruesome murder, wants to bump off the sole eye-witness who’s flying to LA on this flight with an FBI agent (played by Samuel L Jackson with a seriousness that suggests he’s eyeing the Oscar for this role, ha!).
As indicated in the title of this review, Snakes on a Plane (SOAP) seems to have been made by a bunch of pseudo-macho college-going dudes whose only idea of having a good time is to tell each other the kinkiest of sexually-laced jokes. Only, those sort of jokes seem to have made their way on to the silver-screen in SOAP. So we have these snakes, once they are let loose by a timer device, coming out of all the orifices on the aircraft and violently wriggling into those of the hapless and terrified passengers. We have a passionate couple on it’s way to joining the mile-high-club in the plane’s restroom being mercilessly bitten all over by a voyeuristic reptile (eek). Then there’s this stud who, while being in the middle of a very private act again in the restroom, gets his you-know-what chewed by another one (ugh). A rich drunk lady has a serpent crawl sensuously all inside her designer garments before it finally delivers a vicious bite in her eye (ouch). Not to mention this morose dudette who gets a snake to inspect her intestines through her mouth. Enough!
Here’s some well-meaning advice in case you still don’t wanna miss this "timeless classic": Please do not eat anything at least 4 hours before the movie begins.