She was looking blankly at me, trying to recollect where we had met. If you ask me, it was not that difficult, considering the fact that we saw each other everyday in the classroom. Her blank look made me hastily forget all the rehearsed lines I had practiced for proposing her.
I mean...imagine yourself in my place. You feel a girl...make that a beautiful girl, is staring at you, smiling coyly, giving you the adolescent feelers all the time. So much so that you decide to go right ahead and propose her, confident that she is interested in you. You walk up to her stylishly, and say- Hi there!
She looks at you as she would see a stranger....a lunatic stranger! Her face has all the characteristics of the face of the dumbest student in a Mathematics class(in my case- me). Won’t you feel like a fool? Well, I did! I beat a hasty retreat before she could realize that her dainty shoes could also be very good weapons when needed! As I sat on my seat, disillusioned at my first heartbreak, there she was again, coyly smiling at me as always. I looked around me, and saw the classroom heartthrob returning her glances. It was just that I was sitting right in between them, and hence thought that her signals were for me.
I am not that ugly...ok, a bit....but still, passable. But put in the block beside the classroom heartthrob, I guess I looked like Frankenstein to the girl! Today, after 10 years of leaving college, I wish she had given me a chance. After all, the frog gets kissed, not the prince!
(Ok...for all emotional and practical reasons, I never said what I said and you never read what you read, in case you meet Mrs.Frog, that is, my wife)
You all must be wondering what has happened to Maddy, writing about his adolescent crushes in a review of a fast food joint! Well my point is simple- when two things are placed beside each other, the less attractive thing(like me) always gets ignored due to the attention we give to the more attractive thing(like the college hero).
Such was the case of my favourite restaurant Guru da Dhaba and the newly opened Subway at Lokhandwala Complex. They stood side by side. And every time I thought of going to the SUBWAY, I had to pass by the dhaba, which was just irresistible. Within seconds, Subway took a back seat, while I took a dhaba-seat. This happened thrice! And finally, yesterday, I decided to control my dhaba desires, and headed for the Subway. As I passed Guru da Dhaba, I purposely avoided looking at the Sardarji at the counter.
THE FIRST IMPRESSIONS
As I neared the door of Subway, some kind of sweet smell entered my nostrils. I should have taken it as a cue to what was in store, considering that I hate sweets(the secret behind me calling my wife sweetheart). The dhaba Sardarji in my subconscious warned me to refrain from trying this new place. I waved him away. Shooo!
As I opened the glass door and entered Subway, the sweet smell became too sweet, if you know what I mean. There were no customers in Subway, except for one beautiful girl with her college heartthrob. (Sigh! Some things never change, do they?)
I should have taken the hint by the sparsely populated restaurant, but still I went straight ahead to the counter, ignoring the warning of the Sardarji in my subconscious. Shoo Shoo!
I peered at the rates. I really had no idea as to what the menu items meant(funny names, if you ask me), but gathered that it was expensive. See there?- I beamed at the Sardarji in my subconscious- Do you think they will serve bad food for such astronomical prices? Keep your cheap kaali daal and jeera rice to yourself!
THE EXPERIENCE
As I stood there with a confused face, a boy at the counter asked me what I wanted. Water!- the word automatically escaped my lips. The fellow looked at me with a weird look, and asked someone to get me a glass of water, and stood in front of me with an inquiring glance.
Give me something to eat- I said. Smart statement in a restaurant, I must say!
Would you like chicken breast?- he asked me politely.
I like both!- I said. He chuckled....wonder why!
He started making my hotsub, as he called it.
Now, this is an interesting process. You need to be an expert cook to handle this. First he asked me- White bread or brown bread?
I said- White.
With cheese? Without cheese?- he asked, eyeing my swollen tummy.
With cheese.- I said feebly, pulling my tummy inside.
Cabbage?
no...umm...ok..yes!
Tomato?
Yeah!
Red chillies? They are hot!* (Do I really look like a chump?)
A bit.
Onions?
Yes.
Mayonnaise?
A little bit.
Mustard sauce?
Oh...make it as you want*- I said, giving up! I mean, hey, how could I know what goes well and what doesn’t! It was the first hotsub of my life.
Finally he put in the chicken breast, which, incidentally, was the only hot thing in the hotsub. He started wrapping it in a paper.
I will have it here.- I informed him.
We serve it wrapped.- he informed me dryly.
I took my wrapped hotsub and sat on one of the chairs. I must say that the decor was indeed nice. The glass walls can be a lot of fun in the rains, especially if you are the prince and not the frog.
THE FOOD
As I digged my teeth into the hotsub, all they felt was the bread and some cold vegetables. Finally after four and a half bites and around 108 chewings, I got one piece of chicken breast. I savoured it. Though I can’t say that it was worth all the trouble my teeth went through! I felt bad for the dead chicken. I mean...I wouldn’t want to die if I was to go in a hotsub with all the cold vegetables surrounding me.
I sheepishly ate the hotsub, trying to ignore the laughing Sardarji in my subconscious. Shoo Shoo Shoo Shoo Shooooo!
After much effort, I finished the torture. As I asked the counter boy how much I owed him, he informed me that it was a hundred bucks.
There was no dish of Rs.100. They were either Rs.99, Rs.199, Rs.399 or Rs.499. Still the boy said Rs.100. I couldn’t help admiring the boys and girls at McDonalds, who gave you the exact price, and paid the change back, right to the last paisa.
LAUT KE BUDDHU
I left Subway, and made my way straight to Guru da Dhaba. As I sat in the small dirty eatery with wooden tables and the traffic horns for ambience, I joyfully ordered a kaali daal and jeera rice, had a glass of mouthwatering chaas, paid my bill of Rs.45, with a handsome tip of Rs.15 for the waiter, and left with a prayer that God gives the Sardarji a place in heaven. The Sardarji was looking at me with an amused look!
IN CONCLUSION
Somehow, I agree with my college crush now. I mean, there is absolutely no need to kiss the frog when you have the prince with you. What say?