Let’s sample a typical movie review by a novice:
I loved the film Kabhie Kuch Kuch Ho Na Ho because the film was a very good film. I have seen many films, but have never seen a film which was as good a film as this film was.
Gosh, how filmi!
A reviewer who is more experienced would probably play around with words. An odd pronoun, introduction of words like ’movie’, ’flick’,
’picture’, and so on would make the paragraph less filmi. Yet, such words aren’t correct. I remember my English teacher telling me something a long time ago.
’’A for Apple’’
Er, no, not that long ago ... maybe a couple of years earlier, I remember her telling me that the word ’movie’ is a colloquial word. The correct term would be ’motion picture’.
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
So, the question is how one can make a motion picture. Well, if one wants to make a loose motion picture, the formula would read as:
A Dog + an animated parrot + actors and actresses who do not know the meaning of ’act’ + 40 family members + servants, drivers, gardeners = A loose motion picture.
And if you stop shuddering, let’s move to the other extreme - the perfect motion picture. Here are ten films which would be the perfect examples of that term. (in descending order)
------------------
10. Hum Kisise Kum Nahin - Kindly note that I am not talking about the David Dhawan directed flick in which Amitabh Bachchan did his best to look like an alien from Mars. The film I’m talking about stars Rishi Kapoor, Kajal Kiran and Tariq. Nasser Hussain amazingly merges action, thrill, romance and pain and the individual acting performances are fantastic. Rishi Kapoor and Amzad Khan steal the show, while Aamir Khan’s uncle Tariq acts well, too. Kajal Kiran somehow reminds me of an ex-girlfriend of mine and that’s one of the main reasons I love this movie! Entertaining to the core, fabulous music by the legendary R D Burman is the highlight of the flick. The medley is a highlight of the film though my favourite song is ’Kya Hua Tera Vaada’.
9. Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikander - The best campus caper to date. While directors continue to copy this endearing campus caper, no film has been able to come close to Jo Jeeta Wahi Sikander for realistically depicting school or college life. A tale about crushes, true love, sport, ambition and triumph, interlaced with a great deal of humour, this film had Aamir Khan in his most endearing role, to date, as Sanjay, the young, ambitionless maverick, who is caught in the web of attraction, friendship, love and his brother. While most consider the final race to be the best portion of the flick, my personal favourite remains the scene just before Pehla Nasha and the song itself. Pehla Nasha is my all-time favourite song; a song you would cherish, yet it would bring a tear to your eye. A song which makes time stand still as the rest of the world seems to go by in a haze.
8. Akhiyon Ke Jharokon Se - While many may not remember this relatively unknown film starring Sachin Pilgaonkar and Ranjita, I would stick my neck out to claim that it is better than the book it is inspired from. Based on Erich Segal’s Love Story, this moving tale has stellar performances by the lead duo. Touching, heart-breaking and soulful, this is the only flick which genuinely made my eyes well up. Oops, I forgot that I cried during Main Prem Ki Deewani Hoon, too, but that was for a completely different reason ...
7. Choti Si Baat. - A fantastic comedy about how a loser (Amol Palekar, in yet another fabulous performance) transforms himself under the guidance of Col. Julius Wilfred Nagendranath Singh, a character whose long name signifies his great intelligence (why on earth do I have a three-letter name?). The Late Ashok Kumar Ganguly steals the show as Col. JWN Singh and Asrani has a hilarious role, as well.
6. Masoom. - A fantastic movie on the premise of Erich Segal’s Man Woman & Child. Naseerudin Shah reaffirms the fact that he is the best actor in the country and Shabana Azmi lends him able support. Great direction coupled with great music, especially ’Tujhse Naaraz’ make this movie a classic. Another great reason to watch this movie is that it is the only flick where Urmila Matondkar does not pout.
5. Chupke Chupke. - At times, when Dharmendra is not drinking the blood of street canines (Kuttey, mein tera khoon pee jaoonga!), he becomes a Botany professor who takes up the job of a driver to trick his brother-in-law. A riot especially when it comes to the language jokes, Chupke Chupke has fantastic performances by Dharmendra, Om Prakash and Amitabh Bachchan. Bachchan, especially, is hilarious as the bungling English professor. Watch out for the scene between him, Dharmendra and Asrani in which Kumar, Parimal and Prashant meet, as Kumar as Parimal narrates to Parimal as Pyare Mohan how Kumar as Parimal has fallen in love with Prashant’s sister who imagines him to be characterless as she thinks that Kumar is Parimal, who is no one but Pyare Mohan! Er ... watch the movie!
’’Arre, mein to Prashant hi hoon.’’
’’To bataane mein kya hai? Bataane mein kya hai? For safety sake, mein woh bhi bataa doonga!’’
4. Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa. - The best Shah Rukh Khan film, to date. The joys of receiving your crush at the railway station, the jealousy at seeing someone else getting close to her, the jitteriness before receiving your results, the triumph at having composed a new tune, Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa immediately strikes a chord. The music is exemplary - Deewana Dil Deewana and Ae Kaash Ke Hum are the pick of the lot. Shah Rukh is the life of this beautiful flick with his most believable performance, to date. In fact, on seeing the film, I am rather tempted to tell stories to get the girl I like. But then, I don’t want to be slapped by her ... (For more, read my review on Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa)
3. Golmaal. - So what do you do when you want to escape all the tensions of the world and have a hearty laugh? There are two alternatives. One, look into the mirror ... I enjoy seeing the funniest sight in the world in the mirror every morning. But, in order to avoid people calling you a self-obsessed freak, I recommend the second option. Watch Golmaal. Fantastic performances by Amol Palekar and Utpal Dutt are the highlights of this incredible comic caper. All for a moustache! (For more, read my review on Golmaal)
2. Baaton Baaton Mein. - So you thought that Saathiya was the first film which combined local trains and romance? Think again. A brilliant Amol Palekar, a gorgeous Tina Munim, a hilarious Pearl Padamse and David combine to form one of the most beautiful films, ever. Subtle humour forms the main enterprise of Baaton Baaton Mein and Ranjit Chaudhary as Nancy’s brother, Saavi, is hilarious!
Move on to the comments section for my favourite film ... Contd. in the comments section!