I think if I were marooned forever on a desert island, this is the one film I’d want to have. Thats all I have to say. You can go hit Not Useful now.
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Kidding...come back.
Would you like to watch it with me right now? We can start on that stormy day, when Tina Carlisle (Cameron Diaz), bombshell-supreme, gangster’s moll sent to ’’case the joint’’, walks into Stanley Ipkiss’s (Jim Carrey) bank, soaking from the rain in a clinging RED dress. . Background trumpets/horns blaring, totally unnecessary - Ipkiss’s face tells the story.
You know they’re gonna do it..so lets just get it over with. Forward much later to the Coco Bungo Niteclub then. ’’only the creme de la creme need apply’’. Tina is slinking about, breathily singing... ’’Love Makes me treat you the way that I do..Gee Baby, Aint I good to you.’’ Mask/Ipkiss doing a wolf-whistle ’’AOOOOOOOOOWW’’, totally inevitable, given Carrey. The Mask/Ipkiss twirls Tina around violently, madly to a swing band before the Big Passionate Smooch. Tina’s shoes flying off from the kiss-effect, totally necessary. We know its love, baby.
Er.. what Mask? oh yeah, we skipped over that one. Rewind, rewind. Stop. Nice Guy Ipkiss is getting used and abused by a) girls b) his boss c) his landlady d) auto-mechanics and e) club bouncers. Storm breaks over the bridge, as his car breaks down. What’s that floating in the water below the bridge ? A man overboard? No, its a Mask. Wild storm, rain, and watery atmosphere, totally cartoony and necessary.
Again..what Mask? Right, rewind, rewind to beginning. Stop. Scene during the credits shows an ancient wooden mask being released from a chest underneath the ocean by a falling iron beam from a ship above . Magic-in-the-air-y music and man getting killed by beam, totally unnecessary. We’ll see later on a TV clip explaining mischief-making ancient Norse god Loki banished to a mask, capable of giving the wearer some strange powers.
Wait, did we see Ipkiss try on the Mask? Barrrooooom!! and he turns into this green Masked creature that moves like a tornado. The Mask/Ipkiss sees a paper clipping ... Tina is performing at the Coco Bungo club tonite...’’Hold on sugar. Daddy’s got a sweet tooth to-nite’’. And now, with his new powers, its payback time. Three hilarious interludes a) landlady and a laughing clock b) auto-mechanic overhauled by Mask/Ipkiss, c) muggers scared off, totally necessary. Let’s watch it again.
Oh, forgot the Dog. Very important. Ipkiss’s dog, little mutt with almost human understanding. Dog gets Ipkiss out of prison. Dog wears the Mask to fight baddies. Dog is totally necessary and totally adorable.
Speed it up to the scene where the Mask/Ipkiss is robbing the bank at lightning speed, caught on security tape. The police get there too late, but another group of gangsters take their bullets.
I feel a dance coming on. I feel it, give me your hands. Move your shoulders. ’’’ My name is Samba Pete, I’m the king of the rhumba beat, chik-chiki-boom, chik-chiki-boom’’. The Mask/Ipkiss is leading the entire police force on a merry conga line, helpless. The whole dance, totally unnecessary, but so gut-spillingly funny, its completely necessary. Necessary we see it five times. OK, make it thrice, then.
Now, back to romance. Tina and Ipkiss snuggle up. Its a park bench overlooking sunset, ’’looking at all those pinks and blues’’. Ipkiss is still wondering ’’Does she like me for myself?’’ Ipkiss disappears and reappears as the Mask with a corny line- ’’You are a red red rose, and I’m a little thorny’’. Hilarious scene of the police searching the Mask/Ipkiss’s pockets, and finding a whole warehouse there, completely unnecessary, but must watch twice.
Tick, tock, tick. Shut up, shhh. Baddie Dorian Tyrell’s got hold of the mask, and turned into a horrrible monster. And Tina’s all tied up to a ticking bomb at the Charity Ball.
Hows Ipkiss gonna get out of this one? Pull Chain to Flush Dorian down the toilet of course. Can’t explain.. you just have to see it.
Rewind to beginning?
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ps. I’m sorry if this review sounds completely wacky. But thats what the movie is and I adore it mucho. Carrey Rules.