Exams.... haunts me, gives me a nightmare, have to be prepared or will have unnecessary one’s to care but exams are not terrifying, that s waht I think now, its that time of pacifying, and nightmares given as gifts by few...... well well well, should I mock at those words or should I seriously consider them.. coz they are exclusively mine, uttered by me as I am approaching my deadline that controls my destiny in terms of my career...
I am writing this review as a generalized version of a horrifying lill monster that keeps growing as we grow since day one of our association with it... christened as EXAMINATIONS... well, I remember when I was in school I use to hate exams... I din know why... when I was in secondary I compromised with it... hehehe ...could’nt help it and thus today this has become one of my characteristics that define me in my best attitudes...then in higher secondary, realized its importance and thus started growing the virus of acquiring knowledge in certain fields which were introduced to me by my family members and those interesting uncles and aunties that guided me to subjects that were supposed to mean a lot to me in later stages of my life.... some important words that enlightened me like science and mathematics, related medicine and engineering respectively...... so my urge to know more and strive to achieve perfection and excellence and competition got ignited within me and thus started my journey to achieve a goal through something called exams that stood as a constant barrier that always and still gives me goose bumps even by the thought of it.... then came that unforgettable SSC exam which was given so much of hype and horror by my parents, teachers, friends who experienced it long, long ago that even before I steeped into Xth was fed with the atrocities and luck factor that involved in post exam period... I wish I could scream my lungs out then, coz no use of doing it now, about pacifying the world and saying... heyyyyy, give the child a break man.... let her breathe herself atleast into Xth rather than already congesting the environment with all the possible tit bit pollution.....
But I couldn’t and the whole year only thing I did was gather courage and prepare myself for the worst exam to face it with all my strength and knowledge and mugging and solving papers and papers and papers and enforcing time to follow me so that I would me more than confident to face the diabolic D - day called EXAMS... and as usual the whole trip through it was as transparent as air and as simple as I thought.... but then came the nightmare descending time... with all kinda sermons and stories about people who faced the tantrums and were deuced to failure made me all the more stagnant in my thoughts to think further... but then results were good...and I opted for science.... Once in college those petty exams and tests did not pose as atrocious as school but yes the then exams seemed to me like that dormant volcano that would in the near future rise and erupt to disrupt the peace in my life.... and it thus happened with the advent of HSC preparations... smaller preparatory papers at classes which gave periodic tremors were actually preparing us to face the real one in the end... the day arrived... n I blacked out jus couldn’t remember anything... thought that finally it won and possessed me... but yes the seasonal visits to the temple before especially exams as we all do... guess gave me the required strength... and as usual history repeats itself..... Was successful... but yes ... this time the post exams nightmares were forcibly detained by me outside the vicinity of my conscience and I enjoyed those holidays to the fullest..... Then the time came to choose a profession... again the horror that follows me like a shadow was along with me everywhere for every entrance I gave.... n then I was truly successful in the line I always wanted to go in for and I am happy today I am in..... But still it didn’t leave me, making a much thicker bond with my existence from the very beginning.... and its been four years now and I have got used to this entity but still can’t side track the Goosebumps experience, it still haunts me but exams pressure has really become subtle and have grown out of all those petty pressures as I now know where I am what I have to learn, what is essentially important and why do I have to do all this..... Now its practical and dealt with practically.... and I know that I will have to deal with much competitive one’s more practically in the future.... I think that my conclusion and an overall 18 year analysis towards this entity with a never ending bond, that its not exams that haunt us or terrify us... its the people around who initiate the pressure.... not with a view of vengeance but with a view of realizing that exams are important and a deciding factor that moulds our future and removes the haze from that destiny’s screen that shows us our position where we will stand in future.......... So wish me luck for my exams as I approach them with a smile on my face, emitting confidence and kicking those exams right through the goals......