Rahul is very excited to meet his girlfriend Anjali in the evening. He chooses the best of dresses and shoes to wear, puts on some perfume, keeps checking his hair style in the mirror again and again, gets on his bike, buys a small gift for her and finally reaches Anjali’s house; only to find her chatting lovingly with another guy holding hands in hands!
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Tina, a 16-year-old schoolgirl, wants to go to a birthday party of her friend in the evening. All her friends are going but her parents are not in favour of sending her alone! Thus, she doesn’t get the permission to attend the party!
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Ravi works till 2 AM in the night to prepare a project report. He is quite sure that if his report is liked he will get the promotion. But the next morning, his senior asks him to submit the report to him and he shows it to the chief executive. Thus, Ravi’s senior takes all the credit of his hard work and gets the promotion!
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All these three situations will make Rahul, Tina and Ravi very angry! I’m sure each one of you has also gone through similar experiences. So what do you do that time? Get angry and lose self-control! If Rahul does that he will have a break up with Anjali! If Tina does that the peaceful environment of her home will be spoiled! And if Ravi does that he will lose his job! So, why to lose our self-control and temper, when it won’t yield us fruitful results?
Many people say that the best way to control anger is not to get angry at all. I’d say that’s a big joke! There isn’t a human being on this earth who doesn’t get angry at some point or the other. It’s just that some people express their anger while others keep their feelings inside them. Both these things are harmful. If you express your anger wildly in an uncontrollable manner you will just murder the peace of your life with your very own hands. And if you keep everything inside you and don’t express anything to anyone, you are inviting a slow painful death for yourself, which will finish you from within slowly but surely!
Thus, you must express your anger but in an intelligent way! Controlling anger doesn’t mean that you don’t say what’s in your heart! But controlling anger just means that you don’t go overboard in the heat of the moment and regret it later! You must remember that words are mightier than sword. And when we are angry we ourselves don’t know what we are speaking! Mahatma Gandhi has said that there is no difference between an angry person and a mentally retarded person! So, it’s very vital to control our anger!
Although I’m no expert at this, still I’d try to give you ten tips, which may help you to control your anger!
1. Counting
Whenever you feel that rush of blood, don’t even think of uttering a word, just start counting from one to hundred and you will certainly be in a lot more control of yourself!
2. Deep Breaths
Take deep breaths! They will calm your mind by sending fresh oxygen to the brain!
3. Be A Boxer
Just get out of the scene for a while and start hitting the punching bag as hard as you can! And if you aren’t a boxer, pillow will do instead of the punching bag!
4. Exercise
Hit the gym and start exercising ferociously. It will not only help you to ease of your anger but will also benefit you by burning your calories!
5. Shower
Go and have a good long shower! Once you come out of the bathroom both your body and the mind as well will be cooled off!
6. Drive
Go for a long drive on your bike or car! It will help you to deviate your mind on something else i.e. driving! But be careful, if your mind is still where it was and you are driving then it may cause an accident!
7. Music
Music has the power to amend any thing! It can also evaporate your anger in minutes! Put on your favourite tracks and see how your mood changes!
8. Pamper Yourself
Buy yourself a gift! Cook a special dinner just for you! Go out for that movie alone which you wanted to see for so many days but couldn’t get time!
9. Be Flexible
Put yourself in the shoes of that person who made you angry and try to think from his/her point of view as well! Maybe you will get the answers to all your questions!
10. Make Love
Have Sex! It’s a great thing and will take you away from all the tensions of the world! But this can be possible only if you aren’t angry at your beloved!
Before concluding I’d also like to suggest a few things, which you should never ever do when you are angry. They are screaming(it will make matters worse), drinking(don’t take out your anger on your lever), smoking(don’t take out your anger on your lungs) and overeating(some people eat a lot when they are angry and thus become obese).
© Tanmay Singh, 2004