These aren’t exactly ‘tips’….but reading this will probably enlighten many people what NOT to do at a party and thereby make it BORING – applicable to guests as well hosts.
(All names have been changed)
My first ‘big high school’ party was quite a few years back – when I wasn’t really that ‘big’. I had a friend(?)….whom many of my well-wishers heavily disapproved of. They didn’t like me being friends with her for the fear that ‘I would become like her’….Lets call her ‘Anisha’(name changed)
But, I didn’t really care what they said because what she did in her life was her own business. She was nice to me(and vice-versa), so I didn’t mind. So, she decided to have a huge birthday bash on her_th birthday.(I don’t remember which birthday it was.)
So, the party was at this ‘lounge kind of thing’ which was ‘supposed’ to be a(new) and very cool place. “Be there at 7.00 sharp….” She told me. And like an idiot, I reached there at 7.15. Only to find NO familiar faces there. I had been a little apprehensive about being able to find the place because I had never been there before. But, Samirbhai, the(very experienced) driver was with me and he found the place instantly. Soon as I saw the place from outside, I was happy. I told Samirbhai to leave coz I had found the place now.
….so now I was worried since there was NO ONE there inside the place. ‘Have I come to the wrong place? I thought?.if yes, how the hell am I going to get back? I’ve already sent Samirbhai back….” I had a cellphone but Samirbhai didn’t. So, how do I call him up?
So, I went to the guy behind the serving counter and asked him if someone called Anisha was having a party here. He said yes. I was relieved.
Anisha strolled in unworriedly at about 7.30…(TIP 1: If you are the host, be there half an hour early to check if everything is in order….not half an hour late). The first thing that I noticed was her dress. Some frock kinda thing….sleeveless and definitely NOT suited to her heavy frame. But I consciously pulled myself out of the ‘what on earth is she wearing’ feeling and wished her. I also told her that she looked VERY PRETTY.(Occasional lying is permitted).
Then one of my other friends walked in wearing an even stranger dress. Some spaghetti kind of top that wouldn’t quite stay up her shoulders perfectly, so she had to keep bothering about keeping it in its place throughout the party. I could see this though we were under dim mercury lights(and yet, it wasn’t a dance party). So, basically, you sit under the disco lights but you don’t disco.(TIPS 2 and 3: dress sensibly; you can’t have a ‘sit and talk’ party under disco lights)
Then people started pouring in. The problem was that Anisha had mixed up people from different circles at the same party. There were lots of sofas and bean bags to sit on. But because of this ‘confluence of circles’, you’d often not know the guy or girl sitting next to you.(TIP 4: don’t mix people from different circles at the same party, especially if the number of invitees isn’t too large’….this one had around 50-60 invitees)
The whole ‘confluence’ was soooo confusing that people just kept talking amongst their own small clichés and didn’t venture out….which got EXTREMELY boring after a while. The discomfort was apparent as I noticed most people boredly fidgeting with their cell phones. There was a huge T.V there, but people don’t come to a party to watch T.V.
Then this girl(whom I didn’t know but she was Anisha’s friend) walked in and all eyes turned towards her. Ahem….no….she wasn’t drop-dead-gorgeous or anything….she was just dressed in a VERY skimpy skirt and a super tense t-shirt. Her gait seemed extremely fake to me and my beliefs were confirmed when she opened her mouth. “Happy birtdaai Aenisha”(just trying to put down her fake accent into written form). Very artificial. She even had a fake laugh…not like our usual “Ha ha ha.” But a plastic “heyh heyh….heyyyyyh”. Oooooooooo.
The birthday girl seemed visibly uncomfortable in her’dress’ which she had to keep adjusting every now and then. There was basically nothing to do. So we thought of creating some entertainment ourselves. One of my friends, Priya….we used to tease her about a guy named Raj. Both were present there….so we started teasing them……and we teased them for an hour….till ‘dinner’ was served. Dinner….ahem.
So I took up a plate and went to the’buffet’ table….to discover ‘small pizzas’, salad, spring rolls, some cutlet look-alikes and two kinds of softdrinks. More like snacks. But it didn’t bother me coz I’m not much of an eater. Meanwhile, Anisha’s parents dropped in. They quietly took up a distant table – away from the party area(in the area for the regular customers).
After dinner, we decided to get bored again. So we plopped down into the sofas and bean bags and started fidgeting wit our cellphones. Cellphones- the saviors. Then some girl’s boyfriend had come to visit her outside….one smart-guy from our group dragged him inside(against his will) and pushed the uncomfortable poor thing into ‘introduction’. I tell you, the scene was great. The best part of the party that evening. The guy(someone’s boyfriend) was very lanky and had a pierced ear or something and long hair. He was introduced to everyone by making him stand in the centre and people’s sarcastic eyes were scanning him….lol. I would be very annoyed if someone did this to me. The girl next to me whispers into my ears “Yeh….XYZ ka boyfriend hai?” I say “Ha.” She says “Bilkul hopeless hain.” I smile…The guy sitting to my other side asks me again “Yeh XYZ ka boyfriend hain?” I again said yes. He says “If she tried to blow out a candle and he is standing there, the ‘blow-force’ will be enough to throw him 4 kms away”.
Then, when he was analyzed by everyone, Mr.smart-guy sent him back. “Byeeee”. Our only source of distraction was now gone.
Then, when we felt that nothing better than this was gonna happen, we politely took leave. I thanked Anisha’s mom and dad too and they felt good. The rest of the ppl ignored them as if they were non-existent.
It was late and my uncle’s house being very close from the place, we had agreed that he would come and pick me up. I was VERY surprised when he turned up on his Royal Enfield to pick me up, instead of his car. He’s one of those people who has a passion for his bike. My cousin bro was with him too. Then we went to a petrol-pump coz the bike was almost out of fuel. That was the best part of the evening. The ride to the fuel-station and back to his house. It was a cool night….the wind was blowing into my face….I just love the sound of the Royal Enfield….and I’m glad he chose it over his car that day.
Sorry for the unceremonious end to this review….but I am tired.
All dudes are invited to comment.
(P.S. officially the most boring party I have ever attended).