Look at the Mess!
Walk into your room and look directly at your dressing area. The closet and most of the drawers are open, clothes looking as though they are trying to escape, or trying to commit suicide. There are piles of clothes that haven’t been worn, bags of clothes that you haven’t seen in years, and a big ball of clothes shoved into the corner because you couldn’t find anywhere else to put it. You probably have a small assortment of clothes that you like to wear in a spot where you can easily find it. There are shoes piled on top of shoes, and boots squishing strappy sandals. It’s chaos!
Then you receive this on your door:
SUMMONS
By the Grace of God, and by the Power of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, this court commands the appearance of insert your name here to hear the charges laid against you as follows: assault and gross mistreatment of wardrobe, chest of drawers, and articles of clothing. If you fail to appear, a warrant will be issued for your arrest, and you could serve up to one month in jail for this summary offence. You are commanded to appear on March 25, 2004, at the Provincial Court of British Columbia.
(OK, so I received a writ of summons to appear for not paying my parking ticket, but humour me please)
So now what?
PLAN OF THE DEFENSE
codename: operation’clean-sweep’
To escape incarceration, clean up your act instead. Enact Operation Clean-Sweep and tear into your dressing area like a reverse tornado, putting things into place instead of strewing things around.
Step 1:
Clear out all areas where you keep your clothes. Clear out every single article of clothing and set of shoes and place it in a large space in your house, or maybe your backyard if it’s sunny.
Step 2:
Sift through every single article of clothing.
Throw it Out If.
You haven’t worn it in over a year, or ever
It is worn through in areas, or has threads coming loose
It is falling apart at the seams, or has holes
It is faded, stretched or shapeless
It is too big or too small
It has been out of fashion for more than one year
The heel of your shoe is falling off, or the strap is broken
The leather is cracked and weathered
Keep classic pieces, like black slacks or a button down cardigan(but only if you promise to wear it!), and of course keep your seasonal wear. This is especially important for people who live in a climate like mine(hot in the summer, freezing in the winter).
Give the wearable clothing to charity, throw away the rest.
Step 3:
After washing or drycleaning your clothes, bring them back to the closet, which should now be vaccuumed and fumigated. Pants should be hung on hangers, along with blazers and shirts that have to be ironed. Sports clothing should be folded and tucked away in drawers. Fold sweaters and shirts that need to keep their shape(especially tightness of neck). Ties and belts should hang nicely on a tie and belt rack(what you forgot to get an organizer? Go get one!). Shoes, at least two for every possible occasion, should be lined up in pairs on the floor, or on shelves. Seasonal clothing should be boxed and placed in storage until it is needed.
Notice: The Charges Have Been Dropped
Your dressing space is spotless and organized, with only essential pieces. The court is happy with your performance and has recanted the charges placed on you, but how can you be sure this won’t happen again?
Whether you shop daily or yearly, you should always consider the contents of your wardrobe at least once every three months. Filter out pieces that you haven’t worn in a while, even if they are not faded and old. When you get a new pair of shoes, vamoose one of the older and rarely worn pairs. The rule is One in-One out.
If you follow these rules, your wardrobe will always be at the height of fashion, and your closet will never be at a loss of space for your new finds. Good luck!.now I must attend to this summons.