As an immense Hindi movie buff, I love seeing myself get engaged for 3 hours or so irrespective of how the movie turns out at the end. I have watched good cinema, not so good ones, bad ones and at times really bad cinema. Umrao Jaan falls in the last category. Despite
watching some bad movies in past I never cringed or squirmed. I never
shied away from Hindi movies. Having said that, I want to confess that
I felt embarrassed after watching this one. I really had no
expectations from Umrao Jaan. Yet I felt so dejected that it took me
actually 4 days to write the review of it. I just could not start
writing. I was unable to put my desolate experience into words. But
anyways, here I am sharing with you the trauma, which goes by the name Umrao Jaan.
Ameeran (Aishwarya) is abducted by her father’s enemies when she is just 8 and is sold off at the *Kothas *of
Lucknow. Dance, Music, Couplets become her life and she grows up to
become the most sought after courtesan. Enters Nawaab Sultan (Abhishek
Bachchan), who falls for her and vice versa. What follows then is the
never-ending drama of love, rejection, jealousy, doubts, and
confrontation. The movie just drags and makes you feel shrink in your
seats.
The set and the surroundings fail completely. *Kothas *of
those eras are supposed to be lavish. Haven’t we seen the opulent
settings in Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Devdas? The screenplay is as bad as
it can get. There is not even a single scene that holds your attention.
The dialogues sound superficial. Coming to talk of songs, there are too
many and not even one gets registered in your mind. One particular
song, *Agale Janam Bitiya Na Kijiyo, * in actual fact is quite heart rending but again not humming type.
I
had once mention in one of my previous reviews that you cannot compare
2 movies as long as they are as different from each other as chalk from
cheese. However, if your story line, characterization and the setting
are all same, then there is bound to be comparison. Rekha’s Umrao Jaan
was a magnum opus. We still get Ooohs and Aaahs deep inside our heart
when we see those lovely hands and eyes movements of hers in *Ye Kya Jagah Hai Dosto *and *Aankhon Ki Masti *numbers.
Aishwarya looks beautiful though fall short in all aspects. Be it her
dialogues, her moves, her acting. She tries hard to look hurtful. You
do not feel pity for her. You do not seem to connect with her plight
and her defeat in love. And the reason is Aishwarya herself. She is too
plastic to portray any role, which requires hard-hitting emotions. She
looks forced throughout the movie. Abhishek stepped in the shoes of
legendary Farooque Shaikh. And did he disappoint? Not really. This one
is not his best so far but he did his best to whatever he was told.
Shabana Azmi is and old player and it’s not a big deal if I say she
delivered some powerful performance. She is supposed to after being
here for zillion years. Rest all start cast is forgetful and irritating
sometimes, especially Sunil Shetty. I always wondered why director cast
him? May be he comes free or may be he pays by himself to be in the
movies. I am not kidding when I say this. It’s a well-known fact that
the guy makes more money out of his chain of restaurants than from
movies. So why not shell out some money and pay to the directors to be
seen on big screen. Possible, isn’t it?
Remake ones like Umrao Jaan or re-work ones, as was the case in Don, all failed miserably. Now all eyes are on RGV’s Sholay.
I
won’t end by saying do not watch this one. In fact I would say take out
from your memory that there is even a new version of Umrao Jaan. Let’s
just forget that this movie was ever made.