What we need here is, a lesson in sentence completion. Stupid, Cheesy, Fake-Modest Introduction
*There are some things that have to be spelt out at some point or the other. That is what I’m going to do just now. But before that, I must salute in ingratiating politeness and disgust you with my oily courtesies. Here goes:
"To all those critics of mine, who have judged me, criticized me, I confess that behind the defense of verbal diarrhoea that I have at times been prone to prop up, I have always found a lesson to learn, something that I could improve myself and, in my wayward journey to hone my skills, those harsh words of advice have proven as stiff cornerstones, that kept me from slipping off into a valley of self-destruction or, worse, stagnation."
*Senseless and breakneck attack on styles that I personally detest but have wide acceptance elsewhere from people who presume themselves superior to me, which might be true considering that I am only a scatterbrain teenager and perhaps also a bumbling idiot (and at this point of time albeit breathless because oh my fricking god this sentence is as long as the drive between London and some other place, but what will I know.
I am of the Indian race who commit such horrible sins as using comas and punctuations in their sentences, which can be so cumbersome that people who appear to be albeit smarter than the teaspoon I use to stir my coffee also acknowledge their irrelevence
*(That was just the heading)
In this section, I will present a new style that I found quite unique. All other value judgments can take a break. (Refer endnote).
This particular style draws its origin from the fact that modern life is very fast paced and typically when you are staying in a cosmopolitan giant city abroad, outside India, where the rulers do not belong to the Indian race, unless by unfortunate accident or colonial supremacy that the Indian race is too benign and foolish to exert, such a style is a simplification because it gives you the opportunity to blurt out whatever it is that you intend to blurt out.
In all its diarrhoeaic richness, without having to adhere to any specific format or form and ignoring all such things as grammar because after all grammar was only made so that an opinion or an idea or information can be relayed in such a manner that it is consistent, that its meaning can be highlighted as succinctly as possible and it is uniform so that everyone, no matter if they are the wise Magi or they are bumbling idiots, can understand them or at least, sparing for those whose dyslexia is yet uncured, attempt to understand.
There is also something very peculiar about this style, which must be spoken of, because if I don’t then a huge, rapidly catalogued list of "true intellectuals" will punish me and that peculiarity is that a whole new lexicon is constantly under construction so that alphabets can be brought together in this great phonetic script, which is so naturally not the creation of the Indian race.
Who were stuck in some Devnagri script, which even a computer can’t understand so just imagine the stupid complexity of the script- this great phonetic script called English as I was saying can be used to create these words so that sounds as natural as gurgling and snarling of babies needing a change of diaper can be made to convey ideas having the same profound depth as any one word of Shakespeare but unfortunately this peculiarity cannot be grasped by bumbling idiots because all they can really do is boo boo dum dum but before I say anything more I must look into my bank account because a former very highl respected MS-ian has conferred honorary copyright to the progenitor of this style and that particular phrase.
*Hurried, incoherent and completely out-of-place conclusion, which has been placed here only because the author ran out of more ideas or even the vindictive steam with which this article was being written, which is so typical of the teenie weenie bumbling idiot cowardly serpent that has the bad habit of slithering away
Command over a language and the ability to use something with great skill does not impart you with the right to misuse it and it is just as true as it is that the convienience of one man cannot be the excuse for the inconvenience of another, like the bad deeds of several men do not discount the crime of one man and a proposed multitude of similies that can be used here irrelevantly tiring you out mentally so that out of complete frustration and disgust you go and hit the VU button and then later on when wake up to realize what hogwash you have signed up for, come back and make hasty, distasteful and misplaced justification while the perpetrator of this nonsense goes on a trip, using words in the lexicon that even the worst and most insensitive person might fear using and make contact in ways which, the administrative says, are improper while at the same time attempting to assuage oneself that one is still the most superior in this race of rats and other teenie weenie bumbling fools.
Endnote (no elaborations here because I am tired and because there is so much I still have to say in the endnote that wasting time on the headings might not be so wise use of space and your intellectual energy, which you have put to such great use, for which I shall be internally indebted, much as I am to my poor mother who committed the mistake of allowing me to open my eyes outside her womb, realizing that inside I might have grown to be too big for her to carry).
I am but a teenie weenie who has no brain or worthwhile personality of his own but only bits and pieces of pseudo intellect that I borrow and steal from here and there and so whatever I say makes sense only accidentally but I still plead you to consider me with as much sympathy and empathy as you would give to some wayward child that strays into your path, hungry, homeless and in desperate need of a bear hug, and I would definitely be standing with my arms wide open so if you are there with pity in your hearts please notice me somewhere and ignoring administrative details and restraining orders come and embrace me, but of course I would prefer if you were females and alas before any of this can happen and before I can continue to consider myself worthy of such generosity I must beg your pardon for having used commas because they are the signature of stereotypical specimen of the Indian race, which hardly seems to understand the value of freedom, sophistication, time and such other things irrelevant to human existence like personal hygiene, which I have regrettable failed to highlight in my years and years of writings but intend to repair my mistake for the same so before I conclude this awefully long sentence allow me to beg your pardon and make ammends but also arrogantly state that if I intend to, I can really write a long sentence and when I say long I mean really very, very long and still end it in such a manner that apart from length no grammarian can ever complain about its correctnes. phew