So, my wife has finally started cooking. Don’t worry, this isn’t a review of her cooking (can’t afford to be honest there for the fear of my life). After 6 days of arduous cooking and 3 meals onwards, she decided that if she had a sexy looking 4 burner cook-top, she would be able to produce better results.

So, off we went and after much deliberation purchased the Black Inalsa Eternity Glass Top 4 Burner cook top. Well, this was the beginning of a tiny adventure. The first cook top that got delivered had only 2 functional burners while the other two spectated. So, we asked for a replacement and within 2 hours, the replacement was at our doorstep.

The replacement killer, as we named it, lit up all the four burners one go! Now, as much as the delivery cum set-up guy try to explain that this was but a minor glitch which he would repair in 5 days flat, we went against well-conditioned non-assertive Indian-ness and asked for another replacement.

Flat 1 day later, a fresh piece was delivered. The delivery guy took it out of the fancy packing with flourish and set it up. The scene was set. He was standing in front of the cook top, My wife was five feet away, overseeing the proceedings while I was squatting near the cylinder, awaiting orders to turn on the cylinder gas outlet. The order came, I turned the knob, the delivery guy turned the cook-top’s knob and clicked the lighter.

Within a second, a ball of flame 3 feet high materialized above the cook top and steadily started growing in width and length. With the agility of a gazelle, I ran from the place, banged my head against the corner of a cabinet, gashed my head and then stood 10 feet away watching the fire spread.

The delivery boy ran back as well and watched from a safe distance, until we realized that the flame could lead to the blowing up of the cylinder, any given moment. In a moment of rare bravery, I decided to take the matters in my own hands and ordered the expendable delivery boy to turn off the knob off the cylinder. In his moment of stupefaction , he followed my order unto perfection, zombied his way to the cylinder past the growing fire and turned off the knob.

Now was the time to take stock. The cook top’s knobs were almost melted and so were the plastic containers of masalas and chai kept on the window sill.

Reality dawned in 2 direct hits – 1) Once the all black thing of beauty lost it’s outward charm, this was a junk piece of machinery which could’ve burnt up my entire house. 2) Never buy Inalsa products; 3 faulty machines in a row?!! The probability of that is pretty low.

So guys, don’t buy Inalsa cook-tops and watch your head. Mine is still bleeding from the blow I got an hour back (yea, this happened an hour back).